I'm so glad to tell you that my hair has been gone for 24 hours and I am still breathing! That's a joke - sort of! Seriously, yesterday afternoon Mark and I went to the back yard and he just quietly shaved it off. My husband was amazing. He gently ministered to my head while my heart broke. He kept telling me I had pretty blue eyes and it was going to be ok. Even though I was intellectually ready - even made more ready by it falling it out by the hand fulls - it was still a "sucker" punch, a low blow, a hit below the belt. I had some encouragement today just in time...
Elisa, Marcia and Chelsea came by my house unexpectedly and brought me two beautiful scarves and a very sweet response to my bald head. (Thank you) I went across the street to visit my neighbor Tracy and she gave me another beautiful scarf and another sweet encouragement. (Thank you, too.) Then the Brecheens stopped by. Not only did they bring delicious food with lots of extra fixings - but they brought their children and all of them - from the youngest to the oldest - laid hands on me and prayed for healing. When they prayed, Pastor Marcus declared that the rebellious cancer cells in my body understand authority and because of Christ's authority, they would submit and come into order. He declared they would either obey or they would die. I felt better after that!
I've been working on those three verse I told you about a couple of weeks ago. I've had so many amazing suggestions and it seems that the Word is speaking to me like never before. Even at Laugh when Kerri read the passage about passing through the fire that would not burn me, I felt the Word quicken in my spirit. I know that three won't be enough, but three is a good start. I want to share the ones I've picked and why...
Verse #1 - I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. Matthew 17:20
Without faith I can't please God and this passage reminds me that a little faith goes a long way. If I mix my faith with action, I have a promise of deliverance. I think this is the passage that says God is ready to heal me. He's waiting on me to pick up the sword and command sickness to move out of my way. Even Pastor Marcus's prayer is about speaking to the mountain and telling it to move. God's saying to me - "If in faith Jan says to the mountain 'move from here to there', it will move, and nothing will be impossible for her.
Verse #2 - The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you. Romans 8:11
I'm reading Romans 8 almost every day. I am alive to Christ but dead to sin. Since I am dead to sin, the consequences of the curse are broken and sickness has no right to rule in a my body. I believe He is quickening the parts of my body that are diseased with His resurrection power and that life is reigning in me.
Verse #3 - I shall live and not die and declare the works of the Lord. Psalm 118:17
This verse is especially powerful to me. I'd like to share a little story that will help you understand why.
Telling out children about this “leg of the journey” was the most difficult thing we’ve encountered so far – far worse than any treatment or procedure or even losing my hair. We knew it would be hard to tell them, but I was especially concerned about telling Matthew who is 9. Matthew is definitely the baby of the family, having all the traditional characteristics. First of all, he never wants to be alone. The more the merrier. He will not be left out of any conversation, adventure or trial. He is completely unfiltered, pretty much saying and doing whatever crosses his mind. He loves people and like his mommy makes friends easily. He’s pretty much pure joy to us – except when you are really tired and wish he would just be quiet! He has been processing out loud the whole time – free to be sad when he’s sad and happy when he’s happy.
I knew it would be heart breaking to tell him and it was. Mark gently told him the news – honest but straightforward – and he melted into a puddle of desperate tears. As we weeped together, our hearts were broken. But in typical Matthew style, he immediately began to ask questions. The ones nobody else would dare to ask. Once he calmed down and got a few answers he couldn’t wait to tell someone else.
Luke (our 12 year old) was told right before him and while Matthew was being told, Luke went outside and told all the boys in the neighborhood. So then we had a typical brother spat because Matthew didn’t have anyone to tell – which served to lighten the air significantly and return us to a little bit more normal state. He and I then went to tell our neighbor, which gave him a safe place to say the words, “My mom has cancer.” Thanks to Tracy and Richard for a beautiful response of grace and making Matthew feel honored in his confession. All night he just kept saying, “It’s so shocking. My mom has cancer.”
That evening, I went to bed before Matthew. In the morning, I wandered into the kitchen very early. There at the end of the counter where he usually eats his breakfast was a piece of paper and a black sharpy. As I drew near I read the words “She will survive.”
The night before, while I was laying my head to rest, Matthew was the first to make a prophetic declaration over my life. I knew the moment I saw it, it was my word from God. I lifted it up to Him and said if a nine year old can respond in the first few hours of such a disaster with a declarative word – rather than speak fear and death over my life – you, God, are going to have to do something spectacular! Matth
Matthew is coping amazingly well. Just last week he said, "You know it's not so shocking anymore." There's also been a really funny comment about how he was going to have a hard time getting used to seeing me in a long, black wig! Like I said - he's honest and has no filter. I'm so glad there's no filter on his faith! He's at church camp this week and I can hardly wait to find out what God is saying to my littliest man.
Loving you lots!