The Inside Job That Drives You to Community

Guest blog by Jamie Stapleton

When I was four years old, my mom fled an abusive relationship.

One sunny afternoon, we crammed everything we could into her little car and hightailed it from Virginia to Texas.

Over the years, memories of the room I occupied would come to the surface, especially one toy in particular - a beautiful ballerina that twirled to music when you turned her metal knob.

Life moved on in Texas, we put down roots, and I began to grow up. I did not pay any further attention to that part of life, thinking it was forgotten…until it wasn’t.

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Today, I work in the corporate world, attend college and care for my children. I love Jesus and have a passion to minister the hope and healing I have found in Him to others. My youngest daughter is wrapping up her final week as a four-year-old, and I am reminded that it is only a matter of time until she experiences heartbreak and pain from this life. I’ve been learning that what I choose to do with my pain now will, in large part, condition her on how to handle her own.

Recently, I was attending my Biblical Counseling class via Zoom, which has become a regular occurrence. During one session my professor told us that early in her own ministry she helped a woman flee an abusive relationship. As she described how this woman had to escape from Washington to California to begin a new life, hot tears filled my eyes. The emotion of that long ago, seemingly forgotten event suddenly burst to the surface.

Once the tears started, it seemed like they would never stop.

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No one is immune to the effects of sin and a broken world. We have all experienced hardship, pain, turmoil, and loss in our own distinct and unique ways.

God never intended for us to hide in shame or despair or for the pain and brokenness of sin to permeate our lives. We can look back to the garden to see even after Adam and Eve took of the apple and invited sin into the world, God was immediately calling them out of hiding and preparing a way for restoration.

The blessing in the pain is that if we turn to God, He will give us the grace to help others in similar situations. 2 Corinthians 1:4 tells us that He comforts us in our troubles so that we can then comfort others. Together, we then rip the power from the enemy to use that part of our lives to torment us.

Here are some things I am learning about how to process my own personal pain that I hope will be a blessing to you.

1. It’s an Inside Job

The saying “do the work” has become more than a mantra; it is a plea to a culture that looks down on suffering and desires a quick fix to life’s deepest trials. To confront the places in our lives that require healing, we must be willing to endure the pain that those memories will bring.

We are not people who like pain, but growing pains are an unavoidable part of life. When we are willing to do the work, when we are eager to grow, we tell ourselves (and our legacy) that we (and they) are worth it.

Therefore, I am facing the “inside job” of my own healing.

2. Time Reveals

Rather than processing our pain right away, most of us try to bury it, pretending it doesn’t exist. We have all heard the statement “time heals all wounds”, but I disagree. I believe that instead “time reveals“ all wounds.

It took me thirty-seven years to become aware of my own deep wound that needed healing. How long did it take you?

3. Community Too!

Some say that Jesus is all they need, and then use that mindset as an excuse to wrestle alone with their pain without seeking someone for help.  We need Jesus and we need one another. These are not mutually exclusive events, but they are both necessary to walk in the fullness and abundance that Christ intended us to have.

I believe that Jesus did the atoning work on the cross to remove the enemy’s power in our lives.  I also believe that He then turned and gave men and women the ability to help people walk out issues that come with living in a broken world.

Author and Bible teacher Christine Caine once said: “To the degree that you lean into the pain of recovery, is the degree that you will recover.” Leaning into the pain can look like prayer and a private conversation with a good mentor and sometimes leaning in can mean being courageous enough to take the time to meet with a counselor, therapist or small group.

No matter where you are right now, at some point, the pain of life will require you to lean in and do the work of healing.  My prayer is that you remember that you don’t have to walk it out alone.

Let what begins as an inside job drive you to your community for help. 

5 Tips for Leading With Grace and Integrity in Your Life

Guest Blog by Marisa Donnelly.

To find out more about this Brave Strong Girl Mentor, simply visit her mentor profile right here!

What does it really mean to be a leader?

When I think of the word ‘leader,’ it’s often synonymous with strong, bold, or resilient. I picture a person—and often a woman—with her head held high, eyes straight, and a self-assured smile on her face. Leaders are powerful. Leaders are striking. And leaders just have this presence about them that makes you trust the words that leave their lips.

I always saw leadership as strength. But it wasn’t until my twenties that I realized true leaders don’t always have to be bold or the center of attention. There is a power in leading with softness, with gentleness, and with grace.

Here are a few ways you can try this in your own life and business:

1. Recognize your flaws

Here’s the funny thing—being a leader doesn’t mean that you have to get it all right. 

Somewhere along the journey we’ve confused authority with perfection and it’s simply not true. Even the best leaders made mistakes, fell down, and said the wrong things. Even the best Christ-followers hurt people or do things they regret.

Being a leader isn’t about knowing everything, having all the answers, or walking around with this air of blamelessness. In fact, some of the best leaders are the ones who recognize their flaws and actively (and often openly) work on them.

If you find that you’re struggling in this area, find a trusted person and ask them to help you. Speak with them about what you’re having trouble with, have them be critical of your performance, choices, or perspectives, and find small ways to see who you really are—behind the mask.

2. Lean on your support systems

One of the marks of a true leader is leaning on others around you. And this is true, isn’t it? Think of every movie or book—the real hero isn’t the lone wolf. It’s the lone wolf who ends up leading the pack. It’s the lone wolf who falls in love. It’s the lone wolf who brings people together.
And that’s what it’s all about—recognizing that we all need people—and to be the best leader you can be, you must lean on others as equally as you support them.

3. Acknowledge and embrace imperfection

There’s a difference between recognizing your flaws and working on them, and acknowledging and embracing imperfection. Hear me out: It’s easy to recognize things within ourselves sometimes (in fact, we’re often our own worst critics!) but when we acknowledge and embrace imperfection that means we are seeing ourselves and others for who we are—sinners, loved by God—and we are choosing to move forward in love anyways.

Acknowledging and embracing imperfection means saying, “I see you. I understand you. And I see and understand myself, too. I know we won’t ever be perfect, but we will try our hardest.” 

And there is power in bringing those words to the light. It frees you, empowers your team, and reminds everyone that in the mess of life, you can still move forward.

4. Defer to others for their expertise

Or, in other words: ask for help. 

This is probably one of the hardest things in the world, but it is necessary in order to be a good leader. Learn when you’re in over your head. Learn when it’s okay to reach out to others. Learn how to take as much as you give. 

In business, it’s also valuable to have an arsenal of people you can defer and refer to. You can’t always do and be everything, so having people you can rely on will lift your burdens while encouraging them, too.

5. Slow down

I write this point for you—but I also write it for myself. Slowing down is one of the most challenging parts of being someone who is driven to lead. You want to go, go, go and do, do, do. And shutting off that faucet of passion can feel debilitating at times.

But you have to remember that the best leaders need rest. 

The best leaders can lead when their cups are full.

Finding Beauty in the Mundane

Guest Blog by

Morgan Klefeker.

This past summer, I moved to Austin for an internship. It was meant to be an exciting and fun adventure in my life but it proved to be a much quieter and somewhat boring experience. Because of the pandemic, there was very little to do outside of the home and so I had to find joy in the tiny house I was staying in.

But during that season, God showed me that He is in the midst of big adventures and quiet moments.

I began to take notice of the sunrise, a good cup of coffee, a laugh shared with a loved one. These moments were something I had experienced countless times but it felt especially beautiful when I took notice of them.

In the Genesis story, we see God creating the entire universe and after each creation, He stood back, smiled wide, and said “It is good.”

Gratitude is joining hands with God and saying “This, this is very good.” In that way, it connects us to God, opens the door for His presence, and urges our hearts to worship Him. In finding the beauty of every moment, I also became aware of God’s presence in that moment. 

What would it be like if we lived life in this way? Much like a child, we could gaze at God’s creation full of wonder, joy, and gratitude. Even in the hardships of life, we can still take notice, show gratitude, and find the beauty. This life is teeming with beauty, from the ornate design of a bird to the wonderful creation of each sunset. We only need to take notice.

March 2020 brought with it plenty of reasons to complain. So many difficulties, heartbreaks, and setbacks, it seemed like the whole world felt hopeless. And while feeling those disappointments and hurts is an incredibly important step in healing, the Lord taught me the power of finding beauty in the mundane moments of our life. And in the process, He created in me a heart of gratitude.

The Power of Mentorship

Guest Blog by

Marisa Donnelly

To find out more about this Brave Strong Girl Mentor, simply visit her mentor profile right here!

When you’re young, you (unfortunately) spend a good amount of your life wishing you could be somebody else. I remember being four and obsessing over my mom’s every move. Then I was six and taping Britney Spears posters to my bedroom door. Then I was twelve and idolizing Avril Lavigne, blasting her ‘S8ter Boi’ soundtrack on full volume while I got ready for school. 

There’s something about our youth that is so impressionable, so eager to soak up everything we can from the people who seemingly have it better than us, have it all together, have the ‘dream’ sort of life. 

As I’ve grown, my silly obsessions have been replaced with longings to grow my business, be a better and more present mother to my stepson, and expand my creative network. 

Even as an adult, I’ve been longing for mentorship, for connection, for guidance in this (often isolating and difficult) journey of life.

And truly, no matter how young or old you are, no matter the story you’ve written or the path you’ve walked, and no matter the things you believe or follow—we all need mentorship. We all need someone’s hand to hold, shoulder to lean on, or mind to brainstorm with.

Mentorship brings us closer to others—and to ourselves.

When we work with someone (in both the mentor and ‘mentoree’ seat) we uncover things about ourselves that we perhaps wouldn’t have found alone. We confess the pain and longing on our hearts, we break down our walls, and we recognize that it’s okay to trust people and be honest.

Mentorship heals old wounds.

As we process our emotions with someone else, we recognize where we hurt. We allow someone else to see us vulnerable, to ‘poke’ the bruises and stir up something inside of us that we were trying to bury. Although it hurts, we begin to talk, to process, and eventually, to heal.

Mentorship empowers us to new heights.

In mentorship with someone, you realize that there is far more that you are capable of. Whether you’ve been denying yourself the truth of your potential or you’ve been afraid to take the next step, when you work with and alongside someone, you become filled with joy, power, and purpose for the places you can go.

Mentorship opens doors.

Life is all about collaboration. I say this as a mother who has learned the house doesn’t function without everyone’s cooperation. I say this as a business owner who has recognized her flaws and shortcomings in running her own one-woman show. And I say this as a human, recognizing that the people I’ve coached and been coached by have opened doors, have built connections, and have created opportunities I didn’t realize were possible.

It all starts with a little nudge, a little faith, and a little bit of conversation.

For The Woman Who Feels Overwhelmed

Guest Blog by Marisa Donnelly.

To find out more about this Brave Strong Girl Mentor, simply visit her mentor profile right here!

This is for the woman who is tired and overworked, for the woman who can barely lift her head. This is for the woman who may need a few cups of coffee to get through the day, or has simply been exhausted this season and unable to find her footing again. 

I want you to know that I see you, I hear you—you are not alone.

I wish I could tell you that things will get easier, but the truth about life is that there are always ups and downs. Yes, the short answer is that things will get easier. But they will also get harder from time to time. They will also be frustrating. And you will undoubtedly question your purpose, the lesson, and whether God is even listening at all. (He is.)

It’s been a hard season, a hard year. There have been unexpected turns and curveballs, opportunities that have been missed and chances you thought you would take but couldn’t. Maybe you lost a loved one. Maybe loved walked out on you. Maybe you believed in something better, only to be disappointed by the outcome. I know how that feels.

I wish I had the right words, the proverbial magic wand, or the prayer that would take it all away. But life doesn’t work like that. Life is dead ends and turn-arounds, broken stoplights, open highways, and stop signs when you least expect them. 

Life is learning how to navigate all of the roadblocks only to realize God’s been in the driver’s seat all along. 

I know you feel overwhelmed right now, maybe even a little out of control. I know you’re just trying to keep afloat, plastering a smile on your face because you think you should. It’s hard, trying to keep appearances when you just want to curl up under a blanket. I see you, I know. 

But the truth is—even amidst all of this pain—there is hope. And not the kind of hope that slips through your fingers like sand, but the hope that stays. The hope that sticks. 

There won’t be a perfectly-paved road or an interstate without traffic. There won’t be green lights all along the path. But there will be moments of joy that you can cling to, laughter that sits in your belly, smiles that unconsciously lift the corners of your mouth, good books you will read, grass between your toes, and loved ones whose touches on your skin make you feel alive. 

There will be infinite little moments that remind you of the beauty of God’s creation—this life and you. 

So please, hold on just a little longer. Take a deep breath, then another, then another. Call up a loved one. Cry in your pillow. Read the Bible. Take a long walk. Try to reset yourself and when you can’t, pray until the pain subsides.

Because even though you’re overwhelmed, you won’t feel this way forever.

You may feel tired and weak right now, but our God carries us through the darkest storms. And He is with you right now. (I promise.)

How To Be a Leader Who Cares | Joanna Wiesinger

Not sure how to get the best out of your people?

Care about them.

Joanna Wiesinger and Jan Greenwood, aka the velvet hammer, talk about how to be a leader who cares. Jan shares her wins, misses, and practical insights on how to be a leader who builds and leads healthy teams that are engaged and winning!

Meet Joanna Wiesinger

As a Strengths contribution coach, Joanna helps leaders and their teams find the right conditions to THRIVE WITH STRENGTHS daily for greater impact. Joanna leans into her own "superpowers" and over 15 years of experience using CliftonStrengths® to reach beyond a one-size-fits all approach.

Do you need some help with developing your team?

Joanna offers one-on-one Strengths sessions, team workshops, and virtual training.

How to Connect with Joanna

Website | LinkedIn | Facebook

And grab your copy of Joanna’s complimentary Executive Guide to Healthy Teams

God has Taken the Broken Pieces and Made Them Beautiful

I see you friend; I see your pain.

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.” Ps. 107:1

This week I have spent time reflecting over my life – going through the different seasons and remembering those events that have shaped me and brought me to where I am now. Some memories are sweet and full of joy, others are more painful and still sting a little so I tend to move on quickly from those, but something interesting occurred this time as I wrote a list of “highs and lows” next to each other. Every time I went to add a “low” I almost hesitated because I realized…

with each difficult moment, I can point out something beautiful.

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.” Ps. 107:1

I want to be mindful here because I realize some of our moments of pain are still quite real and raw. We cannot see the beautiful anywhere around us , and the thought of it ever being beautiful again is not easily accepted. If I could reach across this screen, I would sit quietly with you and affirm the pain. Life is not always fair. I pray I can offer a perspective as one who has moved a little further down the road. There is enough space between me and these low moments, enough time where I can see differently. I stand in awe.

God has taken the broken pieces and made them beautiful. He has turned things around for my good.

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.” Ps. 107:1

Of course, there are moments I wish had turned out differently, but we cannot change the past. As I look to God’s goodness in the now, I am thankful that God has not given up on me. He has remained constant in His goodness and faithfulness. He has remained near as I have wanted to drift away.  

His love truly endures forever!

Wherever you find yourself today, whether is a season of joy or mourning, may there be a stirring in your heart to breathe out thanks to God for where He has brought you! I encourage you to reflect and look for those moments where you can see the hand of God moving. “Let the redeemed of the LORD tell their story…” You are a child of God, welcomed in the family, and loved by the King of Kings!

There is reason to rejoice today!

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.” Ps. 107:1

Perspectives on Gender and Leadership

You are chosen, cherished, beloved, brave and strong!

Recently, I had the honor to participate in a graduate level class called Perspectives on Gender and Leadership in Cross-Cultural Context. It was a class full of women, beautiful God-fearing women, from all over who desire to see the Kingdom of Heaven brought to earth.

And you know what my biggest takeaway was?  God loves us as women.

God sees us, and He has made a place just for us!

I am not sure what barriers you may have experienced as you have stepped out to serve and lead for Jesus, but I know each story is unique and each of you have carried your own burdens when it comes to serving God.

I want to encourage you today that God absolutely loves you! You - a woman, a daughter, a mom, a wife, a friend, a co-laborer – He sees you, loves you and has called YOU to do the “work of the ministry” (Ephesians 4:12) whether that is in a church, the workforce or in your home! I know there are systems and organizations that put barriers along our paths, but the God of the universe makes a way for us.

He goes before us and lifts up our voices. He gives us the boldness to declare His word.

What is that thing that has been stirring in your heart to do? What burns in your heart as a commission from the Father to accomplish?

I pray that where you have felt weak and afraid to step forward into that calling, God would stir up strength and courage in your heart and you would take one little step. If you have been hurt by the voices of the Church, I pray peace and healing for you, and that God’s truth would cover those wounds.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.”

— Isaiah 43:1

Emily Miller

workplace professional, graduate student, advisory team lead

God's Will = Gratitude

God's will for you (and me) in Christ Jesus is in everything to give thanks. ⁣⠀⠀⠀

Usually when I want to know God’s will it’s about big decisions or life changes. But God prioritizes communicating about His will differently in the Word and He clues us into part of His perfect will for us in 1 Thessalonians. ⁣⠀

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18)⁣⠀⠀

So this seemed a fitting focus for habit formation, especially given our season and the crazy of our year.⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This isn’t a weight to carry of how we “should be” as believers. Such burdens cause us to judge and condemn ourselves for our shortcomings when we don’t live up to the things we “should do.” As with all things in Christ, this is an invitation into the life Jesus offers—not work to muscle through on my own, but obedience empowered by His Spirit at work in me. ⁣⠀

So here is the habit formation.

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1. Throughout the month I’ll be sharing verses and concepts that we may tend to overlook when giving thanks. ⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. I’m forming a habit of giving thanks and linking it to regular action in my home and invite you to do the same. For me, it’ll be focusing my attention and giving thanks to God each morning during my time of preparing my morning cup of coffee. (linking the spiritual habit to a physical routine can help in remembering to do it.)⁣⠀

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3. During those first few sips ️ I will ask the Lord to do His formative work in me and cultivate in me a heart of gratitude, asking Him to open my eyes to be attentive to how He is moving in my life. ⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I’m excited to engage in this aspect of God’s will in greater measure. You in?! I’d love to hear what habits you use to practice or grow in gratitude! #habitformation

Jen is one of our amazing featured mentors at Brave Strong Girl!

Follow Jen on instagram @thejenweaver and check out her website: www.thejenweaver.com

Jen Weaver

pastor, author, coach, Brave Strong Girl Featured Mentor

Visit Jen's Mentor Page

Embracing a New Season

Change can be one of the most difficult things for people to embrace; however, change is inevitable.

I’ve come to realize the times I‘m resisting change are when I’ve settled with my circumstances and become comfortable with where I am in life; I’ve stopped dreaming & activating my faith in pursuing more of God. In seasons of comfort-ability, or what I think of as ”auto-pilot,” if I’m not careful I can get stuck going through the motions of life.

If I’m in this place too long, it’s easy to miss out on the new thing God may be whispering to me.

“Do not remember the former things, Or ponder the things of the past. Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.”

Isaiah 43:18-19 AMP

 Today, I encourage you to be open to the new things God has in store for you. He wants to do something new in & through you - it just may come in a whisper. And the beautiful thing is He says, ”I am about to do a new thing!” - we don’t need to create the new, or make the new thing happen, we just respond to what He is already doing with awareness and declare “I’m In!”

He wants to see you grow, prosper and flourish! He’s your biggest cheerleader and believes in you.

• Let go of the past,

• Be aware,

• Respond in faith: I’m in!

Joanna Perez

blogger, ministry leader, advisory team lead

It's Not Enough to be Aware

It’s almost over…

the month of October…

breast cancer awareness month.

I am celebrating 11 years since I became “aware” of breast cancer. I’m so grateful to be alive but at the same time I am deeply grieved by the many woman I personally know who have or are currently living with this disease.

Every October I am a little bothered by the fact that pink has become a color I don’t really love and that every where I turn someone is saying “be aware”.

Frankly, I think we are already aware. We are aware and we are either afraid or apathetic.

It’s not enough to be aware.

You have to take action.

You must fight for your health with intention and courage. You must face your fears in order to overcome your weakness. You have the power to do more now to protect your future.

Please join me in checking on those you love. Ask your mom, your friend, your sister or your co-worker if she has scheduled her well visit and mammogram - and don’t forget your own.

Early detection saves lives.

Jan Greenwood

wife, mom, survivor

I Hope In Your Word

I love the language of the psalmist here, and really all throughout Psalm 119. There is desperation in the prayer, deep longing to see the salvation of God and to receive a reprieve from suffering.

Since I don’t have winskins hanging around my house, I decided to investigate what it would mean for a wineskin to be smoked. What I found was a that a wineskin left in smoke would become hardened, dried, even shriveled up.

My mind was instantly brought to the condition of many hearts. It made me shiver a bit as I remembered different seasons where my own heart could have been described this way.

Can you relate as well?

But friend, can I encourage you with these words of Scripture to know and believe that we have hope in God and in His promises? This year has been hard, to say the least, but wherever you may find yourself as we draw towards the end of 2020, you can stand firm on the promises of God. He has not left you nor forsaken you.

When the smoke surrounds us and threatens to shrivel up our hearts, we remember the faithfulness of our God, His promises and statutes, and allow them to breathe life into our fragile places. We can experience freedom in our longing and desperation but also in His grace and presence. Take courage dear friend, hope in God! He is our firm foundation and place of refuge.

May the God of peace be with you! 

Emily Miller

workplace professional, graduate student, advisory team leader