Are You a Safe Person?

A safe person is someone who listens without condemnation, keeps your sharing confidential, and supports and guides you toward the Love of Christ.  John Maxwell

How to provide a safe environment

1. Listen intently while others share using good eye contact and focused attention

2. Share your honest feelings and experiences. Others won't feel safe to share their shameful feelings if you refuse to be real. Authenticity breeds authenticity.

3. Affirm encourage and give specific validations for other self-disclosure. Share with them how their stories have touched you personally. (that must be hard.)

4. Balance sharing time within the group by inviting other members to speak. Listen more speak less. Ask questions instead of telling. Don't try to be the Holy Spirit. Invite him to speak to them.

What's Your Passion?

Passion is an incredible motivator.

Passion will drive you to do things you never thought possible. It will sustain you when you've yet to reach your goals. It will give you power to produce results.

If I ask the average man on the street what they are passionate about, I usually get one of three responses.

1 - I don't know.  (Many people have never stopped to ask themselves what they are passionate about.)

2 - I'm passionate about lots of things...followed by a litany of seemingly random possibilities. (We are often indiscriminate in our passions, saying we love chocolate with the same measure of enthusiasm as we like our latest Netflix series or sometimes even our spouse.)

3 - I'm passionate about what I do. (We tend to focus on what we do more than why we like to do it.)

What we casually identify as passion is often just an indicator of a root motivation we've yet to identify. 

If you give me a list of things you like, then I want to know why you like those things. If you tell me you are passionate about kids or dogs or Jesus, then I want to know why those things produce such enthusiasm in you.

When you connect your activities and experiences with a good review of the things in life you get really excited about...you begin to discover things about yourself you never knew. Bravely digging around in the deeply rooted places of your heart will launch you on a journey of self-discovery that can change everything.  Finding the soul cravings of your heart and being able to state them with confidence will propel you into places of power and impact you've barely even begun to embrace.

I've recently been connected with a whole new community of enthusiastic writers who are stirring up my love for writing. I've played around with writing long enough to know that it requires an extraordinary motivation to persevere.  I find writing both deeply satisfying and sometimes deeply painful. I long to do it effectively but I'm cautious about the cost. I am wondering if I am passionate enough about it to pay the price.

So I am asking myself why do I want to write.  

I could say things like I enjoy sharing my thoughts or it's an interesting way to express myself or this is a great way to talk to myself (because sometimes no one else is reading)...but I need to dig a little deeper.

I believe writing is simply a symptom - one way of many - for me to act upon the deeper desire of my heart...to communicate truth with authenticity, vulnerability and power.

There it is - a passion.

This passion is so deeply rooted that it motivates me.

It drives me to do things I never thought possible.

It sustains me when I have yet to reach my goals.

It gives me power to produce.

So I'm writing...and talking, and studying and praying and thinking about truth.  And as I go everything changes.

Are you lacking the motivation you need to accomplish something you've said you are passionate about?

I am challenging you to dig a little deeper too.

I dare you to explore the hidden regions of your own heart. Go ahead and honor how God has crafted you. Embrace your gifts, strengths, interest and experiences. Dig down deep and discover an underlying passion.  Then write it down so you can remind yourself.  Use it to say yes to some things and no to others.  Allow it to take deep root and manifest in every area of your life.

Then buckle up for the journey.

It can change everything when you dig a little deeper.

Are You Resilient?

I wrote the post below before I heard my amazing friend

Christine Caine

preach last night at the First Conference at

Gateway Church

.  She's been speaking into my life for so many years. Her message about how my miracle needs a miracle broke my hard heart.  Surely my flour and oil will not run out and my miracle will be restored.

Thanks to Christine for helping me grasp hold of my promises! She put a bounce back in my step today.

You can watch last night's message by clicking here.

Now onto my post!

resilient: able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching or being compressed; able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions;flexible, supple, strong or tough

Adversity can and does come just like a hot, loud and fiery dragon.  It threatens to conquer. But just like this little soldier, you have I have all we need to overcome.  You and I possess the shield, sword and helmet that ensure our ability to bounce back.

A couple of years ago I heard my friend Christine Caine, share a message on remaining youthful in our spirits.  She compared the signs of aging in our human body to the loss of zeal in our spirit.  She had a long list of "symptoms" including loss of resiliency.

Over the last few months of my cancer treatments, I've grieved a bit over my lack of resilience.  It's frustrating to find that you can't force your body to recover as fast as you would like.  I am very aware of my physical weakness and that I am not moving as freely, as fast, or as confidently as I desire.

The physical impact is hard but I am more concerned about my spiritual resiliency.

As I've been walking through this season I notice that my heart is a sad and disappointed.  I can't believe I am here again.  I don't like the fact that my body (my brain) is taking it's own sweet time to heal.  I want a recovery that is quick and easy, permanent and inexpensive.  I want to get up and go rather than lay down (or is it lie down?) and rest.

So I've been asking God about my heart.  How do I become more resilient?

God just keeps taking me back to the same answer - patient rest.

When your body does not recover quickly you must give it more time, healthy nutrition, the proper exercise.  So it is for the soul as well.  I need more patience with God's work in my life, greater consumption of the Word of God and the simple daily pattern of choosing to exercise my faith.  This is how I "square up" while I wait on my  healing.

There is a promise in the Word of God that says if I wait on God, He will renew my strength.  Here is Isaiah 40:30-31 from The Message.

Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, (Jan)or, whine, Israel, saying,“God has lost track of me.He doesn’t care what happens to me”?Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening? God doesn’t come and go. God lasts. (He's resolute.)He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine.He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath. (He's resilient.)And he knows everything, inside and out. (He's aware)He energizes those who get tired, (He's powerful.)gives fresh strength to dropouts. (He generous.)For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles,They run and don’t get tired,they walk and don’t lag behind.

So I'm learning how to be both brave and strong in the face of adversity.  I'm leaning into the strength that comes from trusting God alone and pulling on the eternal nature of my heart - which does not have to age or grow brittle.  I'm pressing my natural body to keep standing, keep walking, keep rising.  I am determined to bounce back and be renewed.

Do you bounce back from adversity? You will if you rest in God alone and wait patiently upon His strength.

Let's  square up both in body and soul.  He will make us strong.

The Cycle of Life

And if the Spirit of Him Who raised up Jesus from the dead dwells in you, [then] He Who raised up Christ Jesus from the dead will also restore to life your mortal (short-lived, perishable) bodies through His Spirit Who dwells in you. Romans 8:11 AMP

(I am adding to my series that begins with the letter R.  You can check out my other related posts here:  Resolute, Rest, Resilient.)

I am very happy to report that I came through week one of treatment with flying colors.  (Thanks for your mighty prayers this week.)  I saw Dr. Khan on Wednesday and he was pleased with my immediate blood work (high white blood cell count - which means low risk of infection and sustained strength) and we are hopeful that my blood work (sent to the lab) will already reflect a decrease in my tumor markers.  At this point, there is no way to evaluate the effectiveness of the chemo.  We are dependent upon outward observation, faith in the process and the preliminary blood work.

I've been thinking a lot about how cancer/chemotherapy work.  I wanted to share a revelation that I got in 2009 which was quickened to me again this past week.  Many times I have said in the midst of the treatment cycle that I am simply waiting on the moment of resurrection.

A few days after chemotherapy, all the energy simply leaves your body.  You don't really feel bad, but you suddenly don't have the strength to stand.  For several days you simply are forced to surrender from flat on your back and from a position of rest.  And then - one day - you simply rise up again.  You can't force the rising and you can't resist the resting.

I opened this blog with Romans 8:11 which promises life to the mortal body.  I know there is an eternal resurrection for those who are in Christ Jesus where we will receive an immortal body that will be incorruptible. (Who isn't excited about that?  No more pain or tears or weakness. Glory to God!)

But we also experience "mini-resurrections" throughout our life.  I'm sharing about a physical recovery but I bet you can also identify some spiritual, emotional, relational or even financial recoveries you've experienced in your own life.

The Greek word for resurrection is anastasis and it means to rise again, to stand up, to recover from a debilitating condition, rebirth.

I have nicknamed this process resurrection and identified four distinct stages I go through with each round of chemo.  Moreover, I am also walking through these stages on a grander scale.  They are four overall steps in being healed - in overcoming.  Last time it took me two years to reach step four, but every three weeks I am being reminded to trust God for resurrection.

I hope this explanation of how I see the cycle from going down to coming up might help you identify where you are in some skirmishes of your own.

You appear healthy, but you are not.

This is where you cope with the unknown, the surprise of the attack and the disappointment of having to contend for your health (or relationships, emotions, finances, etc.) Everything might look fine on the outside, but inside a full-on assault is underway. Here light comes to darkness and secrets are revealed. For me this is characterized by shock, sadness, disappointment and even a little embarassed.

You appear unhealthy and you are unhealthy.

This is the most challenging phase (for me) as the battle manifests in both your mind and body.  Here the outcome is unclear and the treatment (or intervention) begins to take a toll on you in every way.  Others can now know that something is wrong and can even be frightened by what they see. Often this is a long phase - a dual (stand off) of sorts - where you and the enemy face off day after day. With time, a certain rhythm of the fight comes and you learn to persevere despite frightening consequences or bad reports.  A warrior is born and perseverance becomes a powerful weapon. You learn how to fight and fight well.  You begin to understand the superiority of your weapons and the strength of your faith.

You appear unhealthy but you are becoming healthy.

This is where the tide turns and is often the slowest part of the process.  Healing manifests from the inside out.  It requires time and patience.  Just as it takes a long time for your body to overcome, repair itself and feel normal again, your inner man also requires patient forced rest.  There is a healing of the mind, will and emotions that coincides with recovery. Here you are securing the treasures of the victory, plundering the enemies camp and developing your identity as a person of recovery.  You are well for a long time on the inside before you experience full restoration on the outside.

You appear healthy and you are healthy.

This is the goal and dream of every person who contends with sickness (or trauma or loss) - the ultimate resurrection of sorts.  It's wonderful when you reach the stage where others don't instantly know the battle you are in.  You truly rise again, becoming a symbol of hope and encouragement to others who are in the midst of their own fights.  In this phase, you recognize the price of the victory and work to defend and retain all the territory you have recovered. It's marked by gratitude and a quiet confidence.  Now your testimony becomes more powerful than the test.

I have no power to bring resurrection to myself.  I am completely dependent upon this mortal body to respond to it's innate design to live.  As I wait, I wait upon the Lord and I remind myself the same power that raised Christ from the dead lives in me. The presence of the Holy Spirit living in this natural flesh is my supernatural advantage. My weapons are divine and my victory is assured.  I fight from a position of strength and all around me are those who war with me.

I am grateful to know that I am prone to resurrection rather than to death.

I hope that whatever battle you might be facing, you can find yourself in these four phases and from that position pull on the promises of God. Simply invite the Holy Spirit into that portion of your need and wait upon the Lord. He is faithful and He has overcome the sting of death. If we participate in His sufferings we will also participate in His glory.

Check out this resurrection wording in Isaiah 40:30 AMP

But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him]Will gain new strengthandrenew their power; (resurrect) They will lift up their wings [and rise up close to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun];They will run and not become weary,They will walk and not grow tired.

We will rise again!

Jan

3 Life Lessons Breast Cancer Taught Me

The month of October is almost gone and I haven't said one word about breast cancer. In August I thought about writing a blog a day in the month of October about the lessons I've learned as a breast cancer survivor.  (The Lord knows I can come up with 31 lessons -  no problem.)

I quickly put that idea to bed.

To be honest, I don't like to talk about breast cancer and the month of October often seems like an onslaught of pink reminders of things I'd rather not dwell upon.  It used to bring to mind images of cooler weather, football, and a great cup of coffee.  But in 2009, it began to mean something different to me.

That October I saw pink everywhere.  T-shirts, flip-flops, coke cans and every other product and place you can think of.  Even the NFL got into it with pink gloves, cleats and ribbons right on their jerseys.

What was supposed to be an idea that evoked an awareness and sense of community around a health issue that impacts 1 in 8 women in their lifetime, became for me a mocking symbol of my weakness. Sometimes I just ignored it and sometimes it made me angry.

Here's the honest truth - I didn't embrace "the pink ribbon" because I did not want to be identified with the disease I was battling.

I've had to fight to overcome that mindset. Running, hiding or even ignoring this struggle was ineffective and only left me weary and afraid.

Like it or not, I am forever tied to the issue of breast cancer and that little pink ribbon.

I've realized that my own fear has made me run from identifying myself with a group of people that I actually love, embrace and am proud to be a part of.  Cancer survivors are warriors and they are powerful.

So before October is gone, I want to overcome my own childishness and share three of the most important life lessons breast cancer has taught me.

BELIEVE MORE DEEPLY

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

What you believe and how strongly you believe it really matters!  To believe means to accept as true or real. Take a moment and reflect on your beliefs.  Are they grounded in truth? Are they shaped by fear?  Do you need to change your mind about some of your beliefs?

Once you’ve evaluated the ground upon which you have placed your faith, you are ready to reach down inside of your heart and simply dare to believe.  Believe you might get through it.  Believe that even if you don’t, it will work for your good.  Believe that what the enemy meant for evil God will use for good.

DECLARE MORE LOUDLY

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Proverbs 18:21

What you say and how you say it really matters!  To declare means to make known, to announce emphatically, to proclaim.  Stop and listen to yourself.  What are you saying? What are you reading? Who are you listening to?

Once you’ve heard your own voice and based your beliefs upon truth, use what you know for your good.  Speak to your mountain and tell it to get out of your way. Pray out loud. Write a declaration of faith and read it to yourself. Say something encouraging.

STAND MORE FIRMLY

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 6:13

What you do and how you do it really matters!  To stand means to maintain an upright position supported by one’s feet.  Take a measure of where you are standing.  Are you feet firmly planted on the rock of Jesus Christ? Have you taken a position based upon His word? Have you refused to compromise your position with worry, doubt or fear?

Today, I embrace the month of October as an opportunity to share about the importance of early detection as a life saving measure.  For all my female readers - Have you had your mammogram?  Why not?

I've also taken a stand to embrace the pink ribbon with honor.  It identifies a tribe of people impacted and empowered by a shared experience.  I have decided that the ribbon is a statement of my victory and a reminder to me and others of the power of our faith and the hope of our salvation. (Visit my page on Breast Cancer to learn a little more about my personal journey.)

What about you?  What life lessons have you learned from adversity?  Together, we could come up with our own list of 31 "pearls of wisdom."

*In 2011, I became a part of a project of The National Breast Cancer Foundation who’s mission is to save lives by increasing awareness of breast cancer through education and by providing mammograms for those in need. Beyond the Shock is an initiative of the organization that is designed to provide a broad range of resources and encouragement for breast cancer patients and their families. I am featured as a documentary participant, sharing my personal insights and perspectives as a cancer survivor.

5 Tips to Help You Hear God's Voice

Hearing God's voice and sharing what you hear for the purpose of encouraging another is the gift of prophecy in operation.  According to I Corinthians 14:3, this gift edifies, exhorts, and comforts; helps us build up or strengthen; and points us to the Word of God

Receiving a prophetic word is life changing.  Mark and I have received prophetic words that have shaped our faith and our fight.  We've received words that have given us healing, comfort and direction for the future and we've had our gifts and callings confirmed.  Some words have been public.  Many words have been private.  And some of the most pivotal words have been the ones God spoke directly to our own hearts in the midst of our private worship.

If you've never received a prophetic word, I have good news for you.  You can pursue God for a word for yourself.  He loves to speak to His children and He always has something to share with you.

So don't wait for a public ministry moment or for someone else to see and hear on your behalf.  All believers can boldly pursue a conversation with God.

Here are my 5 favorite tips to help you hear God's voice. 

1 - Be still

Settle down.  Get yourself in a position to hear God.  Gather everything you might want or need.  For me it's a very practical list:  blanket, Bible, glasses, pen, journal and my cup of coffee.

2 - Worship

Use the first few moments to just turn your attention to the presence of God.  He is always with us, but I don't always acknowledge Him.  I try to clear my mind a bit by thanking Him for loving me.  You can use worship songs, prayer, or writing in a journal - whatever helps you tune into the presence of God.

3 - Ask a good question 

Find a good question to ask God, and then wait just a moment.  Sometimes I ask a question and hear nothing.  Try again.  Ask a different question.  Still don't hear?  Get more specific.  It's like finding the exact radio frequency that God wants to use to speak directly to you. Sometimes there is a lot of static at first, then bits and pieces begin to break through and then suddenly you slip into the stream of His voice and you can hear.

4 - Write it down

If at all possible, just start writing.  As you write, set your heart to believe.  Sometimes the word is so dramatic and accompanied by such specific imagery that I can hold onto it without recording it.  Other times God is so subtle, specific and tender that if I don't grasp it so quickly and I lose it.  It still brings life to me, but I lose the ability to steward it for my blessing over and over.

5 - Obey

Now we can become like Timothy and learn to use the prophetic word spoken to wage war in the spirit.  The more you thank God for it, believe God and battle with it, the greater will be the blessing and the manifestation of His word in your life.

What's your favorite tip for hearing God?