The Power of Mentorship

Guest Blog by

Marisa Donnelly

To find out more about this Brave Strong Girl Mentor, simply visit her mentor profile right here!

When you’re young, you (unfortunately) spend a good amount of your life wishing you could be somebody else. I remember being four and obsessing over my mom’s every move. Then I was six and taping Britney Spears posters to my bedroom door. Then I was twelve and idolizing Avril Lavigne, blasting her ‘S8ter Boi’ soundtrack on full volume while I got ready for school. 

There’s something about our youth that is so impressionable, so eager to soak up everything we can from the people who seemingly have it better than us, have it all together, have the ‘dream’ sort of life. 

As I’ve grown, my silly obsessions have been replaced with longings to grow my business, be a better and more present mother to my stepson, and expand my creative network. 

Even as an adult, I’ve been longing for mentorship, for connection, for guidance in this (often isolating and difficult) journey of life.

And truly, no matter how young or old you are, no matter the story you’ve written or the path you’ve walked, and no matter the things you believe or follow—we all need mentorship. We all need someone’s hand to hold, shoulder to lean on, or mind to brainstorm with.

Mentorship brings us closer to others—and to ourselves.

When we work with someone (in both the mentor and ‘mentoree’ seat) we uncover things about ourselves that we perhaps wouldn’t have found alone. We confess the pain and longing on our hearts, we break down our walls, and we recognize that it’s okay to trust people and be honest.

Mentorship heals old wounds.

As we process our emotions with someone else, we recognize where we hurt. We allow someone else to see us vulnerable, to ‘poke’ the bruises and stir up something inside of us that we were trying to bury. Although it hurts, we begin to talk, to process, and eventually, to heal.

Mentorship empowers us to new heights.

In mentorship with someone, you realize that there is far more that you are capable of. Whether you’ve been denying yourself the truth of your potential or you’ve been afraid to take the next step, when you work with and alongside someone, you become filled with joy, power, and purpose for the places you can go.

Mentorship opens doors.

Life is all about collaboration. I say this as a mother who has learned the house doesn’t function without everyone’s cooperation. I say this as a business owner who has recognized her flaws and shortcomings in running her own one-woman show. And I say this as a human, recognizing that the people I’ve coached and been coached by have opened doors, have built connections, and have created opportunities I didn’t realize were possible.

It all starts with a little nudge, a little faith, and a little bit of conversation.

For The Woman Who Feels Overwhelmed

Guest Blog by Marisa Donnelly.

To find out more about this Brave Strong Girl Mentor, simply visit her mentor profile right here!

This is for the woman who is tired and overworked, for the woman who can barely lift her head. This is for the woman who may need a few cups of coffee to get through the day, or has simply been exhausted this season and unable to find her footing again. 

I want you to know that I see you, I hear you—you are not alone.

I wish I could tell you that things will get easier, but the truth about life is that there are always ups and downs. Yes, the short answer is that things will get easier. But they will also get harder from time to time. They will also be frustrating. And you will undoubtedly question your purpose, the lesson, and whether God is even listening at all. (He is.)

It’s been a hard season, a hard year. There have been unexpected turns and curveballs, opportunities that have been missed and chances you thought you would take but couldn’t. Maybe you lost a loved one. Maybe loved walked out on you. Maybe you believed in something better, only to be disappointed by the outcome. I know how that feels.

I wish I had the right words, the proverbial magic wand, or the prayer that would take it all away. But life doesn’t work like that. Life is dead ends and turn-arounds, broken stoplights, open highways, and stop signs when you least expect them. 

Life is learning how to navigate all of the roadblocks only to realize God’s been in the driver’s seat all along. 

I know you feel overwhelmed right now, maybe even a little out of control. I know you’re just trying to keep afloat, plastering a smile on your face because you think you should. It’s hard, trying to keep appearances when you just want to curl up under a blanket. I see you, I know. 

But the truth is—even amidst all of this pain—there is hope. And not the kind of hope that slips through your fingers like sand, but the hope that stays. The hope that sticks. 

There won’t be a perfectly-paved road or an interstate without traffic. There won’t be green lights all along the path. But there will be moments of joy that you can cling to, laughter that sits in your belly, smiles that unconsciously lift the corners of your mouth, good books you will read, grass between your toes, and loved ones whose touches on your skin make you feel alive. 

There will be infinite little moments that remind you of the beauty of God’s creation—this life and you. 

So please, hold on just a little longer. Take a deep breath, then another, then another. Call up a loved one. Cry in your pillow. Read the Bible. Take a long walk. Try to reset yourself and when you can’t, pray until the pain subsides.

Because even though you’re overwhelmed, you won’t feel this way forever.

You may feel tired and weak right now, but our God carries us through the darkest storms. And He is with you right now. (I promise.)

Don't Give Up

This morning I got up early and headed up to deck 10 to take a walk. Last year I sailed on this boat and I remembered how beautiful the morning sun was on the water. I took along my music, put on my sunglasses, new shoes and headed out the door As soon as I arrived on deck 10 and the doors slid open I felt a blast a wind hit my face. I headed out to the track and turned left. Immediately the wind hit my back, propelling me forward. I held onto my phone a little tighter as I realized the wind could whip it from my hand. As I got to the rear of the ship and passed across the back, I had a moment of reprieve as the night club on deck 11 blocked the wind.

Then I headed directly into the sun and the most intense windstorm.

It takes a lot more determination to walk when the wind is in your face. I had to lean in and press forward in order to make it all the way around the deck. It wasn’t as beautiful this time because I couldn’t really concentrate on the scenery because I was focusing on one foot in front of the other.

Then I rounded the front corner and the wind hit my back again. At first I thought this will be easier. But then a big gust came and I almost stumbled. I could feel the wind shove me forward, pressing me to go faster than I wanted to go.

Circle after circle around the deck I felt the wind swirl, blow and rage all around me. It made threatening noises and disturbed my peace. I put my eyes on the steps in front of me and just kept moving forward. I was determined to get my four laps in for the day.

As I walked I thought about how I’ve been feeling the past few days. As I am coming off the steroids I am experiencing the low that follows the high. I am easily tired and find myself crashing by mid-afternoon. Forget staying up late – it’s practically painful. To top it off, I’m still not sleeping through the night. I’m frustrated by my bodies lack of rebound and I just want to feel good. I find that a tired body speaks so loudly and constantly reminds me of my weakness.

it began to occur to me that my walk around the deck was a picture of how I am feeling in the spirit and a really good illustration of spiritual warfare.  In my own life, I feel the wind of resistance.  I can’t see it, but I can feel it. And just about the time I think I’ve broken through and gotten a reprieve, it seems I turn my face straight into the wind again. I have to build strength by overcoming the resistance and I have to be resolute in my determination to keep going.  I want it to be beautiful sunrises and great scenery but usually it's more like a threatening storm.

Spiritual warfare is a real thing. You have a real enemy. And he is relentless, cruel and sneaky. He wants you to struggle against the wind, striking at enemies you can’t see, being overcome by forces that are invisible. He wants to intimidate you and he wants to threaten you. He wants us to give up.

On lap three I glanced up and saw three friends right in front of me who were on their own walk. Suddenly I felt a little lighter and I was grateful to make my final lap with them. The wind, the noise and pressure bothered me so much less. I easily finished the final stretch.

Maybe you can relate to my spiritual walk. Maybe you been feeling like the wind is blowing you every which way and trying its best to knock you down, hold you back or force you to advance too quickly. You’ve been concentrated on staying on your feet and pressing through to the end goal.

Now look up.  All around us are encouragers and helpers - others on a similar journey - who are willing to walk with you.

I’m grateful for the grace of God in the midst of the storms of life. I find every morning He meets me with grace for today. (By the way – I have no grace for tomorrow or next week. I only have manna for today and that’s all you’ve got too.) Just when I want to give up or even consider believing a lie, he sends a friend to walk with me. Sometimes the friend is a sister, my husband or even my kids. Sometimes he reminds me I am never alone and the Holy Spirit is companion enough for me.

So I finished my four rounds, hurried back to my room and started drafting this note to you.

Remember, it’s just wind. Don't give up.  Just keep walking.

Forced Rest

And he said to them,“Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.

Mark 6:31

Last week I shared a wonderful evening with some of the team of ladies who participated in a recent leadership trip to Scottsdale, Arizona.  They visited the Gateway campus there and attended Scottsdale's first Pink Impact.  I had planned to be a part of that gathering, but due to the timing of my treatments, I ended up staying home.  We gathered to share a meal and talk about their experience.

The team went with the intention of serving.  The goal was to be available and to do whatever was needed.  Upon arrival it was pretty clear that the Scottsdale team was on top of all the details.  They had done a fantastic job of raising up leaders, executing their vision and preparing for the hundreds of ladies who were participating.  As a result, the Texas team found themselves with an opportunity to simply receive.

This unexpected turn of events left each of them with an opportunity to enter into what God was doing.  As each of them shared, I heard them begin to testify about the unexpected impact of resting in the presence of God.  Some talked about the refreshment, some about how unexpected chains were broken, some about hearing God in a new way, some about the reminder of their first love. They all testified that they were deeply impacted, returning home changed in unexpected ways.

One of the team talked about the concept of forced rest in an athlete's training program.  It seems that there is a general understanding that an athlete must build breaks in their training program as a planned part of getting stronger.  It's the basic principles of resistance training.  You stress your muscles one day and rest them the next.  During the rest the muscles actually grow larger and stronger.

Most athletes know that getting enough rest after exercise is essential to high-level performance, but many still over train and feel guilty when they take a day off. The body repairs and strengthens itself in the time between workouts, and continuous training can actually weaken the strongest athletes. Sportsmedicene.com

I realized in that moment that both the team and myself had been led into a moment of forced rest.  They by a lack of responsibility.  Me by a lack of health.  In both cases God was prescribing the same treatment.  As they found their hands empty, their hearts began to fill up.  As I surrender to the "battle plan" before me, I begin to turn the tide of my crisis toward health.

What if Jesus wants to invite all of us into a season of rest?  We call it Sabbath.  Just think - every week He commands that we would pause to rest.  We can do it out of obedience or we can push ourselves beyond the limits of our physical, emotional or spiritual strength and find ourselves staring "square" in the face of a situation which debilitates us.  For me it's a health crisis.  For others it might be a failing marriage, a financial disaster, a loss of passion or a sense of hopelessness.

Genesis 2:2-3And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and herested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done.So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.

The Bible says that the seventh day - the day of required rest - is both blessed and holy. (Shh - this is a secret - I have believed the seventh day is nice, wasted and for the weak.) I have been so foolish. I have been afraid to rest because I don't fully trust that God can do more without me than with me.  I have believed that the blessing only comes through works.

I pray you will surrender to rest long before you are pressed into it by destruction, loss or fear. But even if it's too late for the rest that comes by choice...even if you are like me - receiving a mandate of rest like a prescription to recovery - our God is so faithful.  We can receive the same benefit as my friends did while in Scottsdale.  As we empty our hands and cease striving, He will heal us and He will do so much more.  Soon we'll be testifying of the unexpected and completely luscious blessing that comes from resting in Him.

Jesus Makes Me Steadfast

“Lord, give me firmness without hardness, steadfastness without dogmatism, love without weakness.” ―

Jim Elliot

I've been noticing so many words that begin with an "R". When I hear them, they ring in the spirit.  It's like my ear detects something different, an underlying layer of meaning.  My whole spirit begins to lean toward that word and I want to dig a little deeper.  I am building a series of blogs on these R words just because I need the encouragement most of all.  You can refer to my last post on

"Rest"

as the starting point.  Today, I am revisiting (see that R word?) the key to overcoming cancer the Lord gave me in 2009.  It was my first R word and it is still such an important key for me:

Resolute

Resolute: admirably purposeful, determined, unwavering

This word was so impactful to me at the beginning of my journey that I decided to share what I wrote about becoming resolute from my original blog post of July 10, 2009. 

Laughter is Good Medicine.

I like to ask God each year for a word for that year - something personal that will tell me what He has in mind for me. By mid-February I knew that my word for 2009 was "resolute". Resolute means steadfast, unwavering, without doubt, fully committed, with no duplicity. As soon as I heard it, I realized I was going to have to fight. I thought I might have to fight to stay in the ministry, or fight to hear God, or maybe fight to remain stable. Little did I know what loomed on the horizon. I am fighting for my very life.

This morning I was reading Dodie Osteen's book called Healed of Cancer (given to me last night by a very special friend, Janet Stephenson - thank you!) and I came across a verse that made my heart leap. I've searched the Bible for the word resolute and can't find it! I knew that steadfastness was the character of the Lord and I found some confirming verses for that - but I had not really laid hold of a passage that spoke to me about being resolute.

Guess what I found this morning? Hebrews 10:23 - "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."

I will not waver again. Not because of my faith, but because He is faithful.

My faith has been quickened by the outrageous, lavish, abundant declaration of God's goodness toward me. I believe that I am healed when everything in my body is saying something different. I take authority over my mind, will and emotions - removing duplicite thoughts and becoming single-minded.

I command the root of cancer to die and leave my body whole and restored. Resolute.

I am grateful that the root of my faith is not contingent upon my effort.  Whether I am having a dark season or just a single difficult day, it is the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit that makes me steadfast.  My faith is not "worked up" by effort or fear but rather comes to me like bread on water each morning.  When I feel the temptation to drift away, my responsibility is to confess my faith again.  He does all the rest.

Last week I received a very special gift. My friend Nolita Theo sent me a copy of the book I mentioned above by Dodie Osteen called Healed of Cancer.  I've listed it as my number one recommendation on this blog for anyone who is battling cancer. I found a new copy, along with a note, on my desk last week.  As I picked it up, I told Elisabeth Dunn (my co-worker) how important that little book had become in my life and how sweet it was that someone would send it to me again.

As I flipped it open, I found a new blessing!

Mrs. Osteen had written me a personal note!  I was so excited by this precious gift.  Nolita had remembered our conversation from months before.  Mrs. Osteen's faith quickened my faith in 2009 and enabled me to trust God in new measure through her testimony of miraculous healing.

So let's "square up" together. If you find yourself in need of greater faith, just borrow my favorite verse - Hebrews 10:23 - and begin to confess. We will find that in spite of our human weakness, He who promised is faithful (steadfast, unwavering, trustworthy).

5 Tips to Help You Hear God's Voice

Hearing God's voice and sharing what you hear for the purpose of encouraging another is the gift of prophecy in operation.  According to I Corinthians 14:3, this gift edifies, exhorts, and comforts; helps us build up or strengthen; and points us to the Word of God

Receiving a prophetic word is life changing.  Mark and I have received prophetic words that have shaped our faith and our fight.  We've received words that have given us healing, comfort and direction for the future and we've had our gifts and callings confirmed.  Some words have been public.  Many words have been private.  And some of the most pivotal words have been the ones God spoke directly to our own hearts in the midst of our private worship.

If you've never received a prophetic word, I have good news for you.  You can pursue God for a word for yourself.  He loves to speak to His children and He always has something to share with you.

So don't wait for a public ministry moment or for someone else to see and hear on your behalf.  All believers can boldly pursue a conversation with God.

Here are my 5 favorite tips to help you hear God's voice. 

1 - Be still

Settle down.  Get yourself in a position to hear God.  Gather everything you might want or need.  For me it's a very practical list:  blanket, Bible, glasses, pen, journal and my cup of coffee.

2 - Worship

Use the first few moments to just turn your attention to the presence of God.  He is always with us, but I don't always acknowledge Him.  I try to clear my mind a bit by thanking Him for loving me.  You can use worship songs, prayer, or writing in a journal - whatever helps you tune into the presence of God.

3 - Ask a good question 

Find a good question to ask God, and then wait just a moment.  Sometimes I ask a question and hear nothing.  Try again.  Ask a different question.  Still don't hear?  Get more specific.  It's like finding the exact radio frequency that God wants to use to speak directly to you. Sometimes there is a lot of static at first, then bits and pieces begin to break through and then suddenly you slip into the stream of His voice and you can hear.

4 - Write it down

If at all possible, just start writing.  As you write, set your heart to believe.  Sometimes the word is so dramatic and accompanied by such specific imagery that I can hold onto it without recording it.  Other times God is so subtle, specific and tender that if I don't grasp it so quickly and I lose it.  It still brings life to me, but I lose the ability to steward it for my blessing over and over.

5 - Obey

Now we can become like Timothy and learn to use the prophetic word spoken to wage war in the spirit.  The more you thank God for it, believe God and battle with it, the greater will be the blessing and the manifestation of His word in your life.

What's your favorite tip for hearing God?

So Much More

I've been thinking a lot lately about all the things I'm not getting done.  I'd share them here, but the list is quite staggering. I recently tried my old standby - "the "to do" list.

For years it's been my go-to friend.  I'd write everything I could think of on a piece of paper and get the most fun out of checking off each task, one by one.  Looking at a well checked list assured me I was okay.  I was worthwhile.  I was accomplishing things.

So I tried making a new to do list.

It just made me feel overwhelmed. Rather than being motivated, I wanted to stick my head in the sand; climb back in the bed; veg out on Netflix.

My to do list has become my "I can't do it anymore" list. Or maybe it's become an "I don't want to" list, or God forbid, maybe even an "I won't" list.

Apparently, I'm waiting on me to regain my motivation.

The problem is two-fold, as I see it.

1) What's the point? I've sadly discovered the work is never done and that even if you finish, you just begin again. (I can't believe the laundry has to be done over and over.)  I need a purpose to help me determine the point - the goal - the win. (Excuse me while I pause to respond to the buzzing of the drier.)

2) Does it really matter? That's a good and honest question.  Did you know that if you wait long enough, some of the items on your to do list will just go away?  This is a lousy way of taking care of business, but it does highlight the difference between the urgent and the essential.  Few things are really essential, but the essential things really do matter.  So what is essential?

In the back of my mind, I hear a whisper, "It is just a season.  Someday - one day - you'll hit your groove again and your 'to do' will rev like the engine of your BMW, you'll shift into fifth gear, and then watch out world. Check marks galore!"

I'm waiting on a lie. It's not just a season. For more than a year, my "to do" has been having to yield to my "who."

It's messy.  It's disconcerting.  It raises a question I don't like to ask.

Is who I am really enough? 

I'm aware I'm in an identity crisis.  Maybe it's a mid-life crisis!  (That would explain so much.) I keep hitting the same wall, turning to my fearless leader (the Holy Spirit) and expecting Him to "coach me up."

It must be half-time, because He's not rating my performance, putting me through the drills of self-incrimination nor punishing me for lack of performance.

So since it's half time and all...here's a different kind of to do list.  It's short and sweet and ever so kind to my bruised capacities.

1. Be kind. Anybody else have really bad "self-talk" about your own performance? I'm the first on the line with a whistle and a clip board. This is bad coaching. So first thing on the to do list - just stop being mean to myself and to others.

2. Eyes on the truth. Who we are matters more than what we do. If we love God and love people, everything else will come into order. Keep your eyes on Jesus and His Word for the truth about the value of who you are.

3. You are enough. I want to be more like Paul who in Philippians 4: 12-13, shares a very important secret to overcoming the relentless demands of to do. I have learned the secret of being content (satisfied, filled, willing) in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Here is the coaching our weary souls long to receive.Christ doesn't so much want to "coach us up" as he wants to "hold us up."   

If we lean into this truth, we begin to understand that "me in Christ and Christ in me" is enough.  Our identity will never be found nor confirmed in a "to do" list.  We are so much more than that!

Where's My Place?

I recently walked into a meeting room where about 100 people were gathering for a conference.  Even though I had been invited to the gathering and even though my friend was hosting it, I still had to face a momentary feeling of insecurity.  Where was my seat?  Was there a place for me? I've had this feeling a million times in my life.

I still feel it a bit when I board an airplane and look down the long aisle.  Ticket in hand and seat reserved, I still have butterflies in the pit of my stomach. Where's my seat? Who will I sit near? Will someone else have taken my place?

I also feel this way the first time I attend a new life group.  It's pretty intimidating to pull up to someone else's home and invite yourself into their living room. Getting from the car to the living room can seem insurmountable.

Recently we relocated office buildings at work.  I was so grateful when my boss opened up his computer to show me the schematic with each person's work space clearly marked by their name.  Surprise!  There was a space for me.

These momentary flashes of insecurity are easily resolved.

Once we press past the threat of the potential embarrassment of being overlooked or left out and actually "find our place", the sensation passes.

But sometimes this sensation becomes an ongoing state of being.

That's a problem.  A big one.

Deep seated insecurity, the kind that leaves you fearful, restless and uncertain, requires the human heart to live on alert.

"Will I be good enough for the job or the relationship?”

“Will I be accepted by this group or that person?

“Am I too tall, too short, too skinny, too fat?”

These examples can be shortened to the real questions of our heart.

"Am I enough?"

"Will I be accepted?"

"Am I okay?" 

Meditate on this wonderful verse from the book of Jude and ponder the fact that we are loved and "kept safe" by Jesus.  He is the answer to our insecurities.

Jude 1-2 I, Jude, am a slave to Jesus Christ and brother to James, writing to those loved by God the Father, called and kept safe by Jesus Christ. Relax, everything’s going to be all right; rest, everything’s coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way!