How to Overcome Fear

The nurse came flying into the chemo room and handed me my weekly slip of paper that documented my blood test results. “This looks fine,” she said. I responded with the same exact words I used every time she would hand me the paper: “That’s because I’m well.” As I glanced down to confirm that my blood work was good, I read the results. In that moment, a fiery dart of fear pierced my heart.

Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.

Psalm 27:3

According to 1 John 4:18, fear is a tormenting spirit that threatens us with punishment. It comes in various forms—from intimidation to threat to torture. Fear loves to breed confusion and preys upon doubt. It presents itself as powerful and all-consuming, and it never shows mercy.

It was June of 2009 when cancer first called my name. Since then, I’ve had many fights with fear. I’ve had to learn how to align my thoughts, my actions and my body with God’s promises and character in order to keep my peace, walk in faith and receive my healing. I’ve learned firsthand that the Word of God is the only thing that can speak more loudly to me than the fear of death.

When you’re diagnosed with a serious illness, there is an instantaneous moment of disbelief, quickly followed by the first onslaught of fear. You face critical decisions and many invasions of privacy. You must discern your plan of action based upon the input of strangers who may or may not have your best interests at heart. Every decision feels life-threatening, and each day brings a new realization of the seriousness of the situation.

The story of Joshua shows us that God understands how afraid and intimidated we are when the threat of dying is near. The first chapter of Joshua picks up immediately after the death of Moses. Joshua, who had been Moses’ right-hand man, was faced with the challenge of leading the people of Israel into the Promised Land. I’m sure he was wrestling with fear, and I can completely relate. When I first heard the word “malignant,” it felt like a punch in the gut. But God opens His dialogue with Joshua by looking death straight in the face and removing its sting: “Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready” (Joshua 1:2). God doesn’t linger over the loss of Moses. Instead, He reminds Joshua of His promises and gives Joshua an instruction list for overcoming fear that applies to each of us as well.

First, God tells Joshua twice in a row to be brave and very courageous (Joshua 1:6–7). God required a faith response—an action—from Joshua. He does not make him brave. He commands him to be brave. Joshua had to choose to obey and take courage.

Next, God instructs Joshua to remember His Word (Joshua 1:8). The Word of God has every answer for our questions about healing and how to overcome the fear of death. He clearly states His plan (for long life and health), His heart (He desires for us to live) and His provision for us to obtain our personal promise of healing (by His stripes we are healed).

God wraps up His talk by exhorting Joshua one final time to be strong and courageous; only this time He also tells him not to be terrified or discouraged because He promises to be with Joshua and the people of Israel wherever they go (Joshua 1:9). In order to agree and cooperate with God, we have to disagree with our fear and trust that God is always with us.

Much like Joshua, when we face a serious situation—whether it’s a life-threatening illness, a relationship loss, grief or suffering—God calls us to believe His promises. We are to take courage and resist fear in order to cross over into our individual promised lands of health and restoration.

Despite the evidence of God’s Word, many of us are often afraid to believe for healing. We don’t trust that God is good or that He is willing to heal. Some of us are so terrified of being disappointed that we fail to stretch our faith and exercise obedience. Others of us begin the battle strong but lose our momentum, because fear wears at the corners of our minds and day by day steals a piece of our faith. Sometimes, we listen to our symptoms more than we listen to the voice of God. A hurting body, grueling treatments and many tests simply scream sickness so loudly that we believe the lie. Many of us can’t get past our experiences. We’ve seen a friend or family member suffer and die, and the disappointment stands like a mountain in the way of our hope and faith. Leaping across what is “bad” to believe that God is “good” becomes a seemingly insurmountable obstacle for us. However, if we don’t learn to overcome fear, we will walk in constant anxiety and thwart God’s plan to bring healing and victory to us.

I understand that believing God and choosing to be brave isn’t easy, and it doesn’t mean that we won’t ever have doubt or fear. It simply means that we obey in the face of great obstacles, symptoms and intimidation. Eventually, there comes a season in our battle when we can fully rest in the hope we’ve placed in God, surrender the outcome to Him and trust in His faithfulness rather than in the manifestation of our healing. We know that whether we are healed in this life or not, God is faithful. When we diligently guard our hearts against fear and steadfastly hold to God’s promises, we experience the rewards of peace and hope.

That day in the chemo room led to a week or two of massive instability. I had to reach out to my husband and my friends, confessing my thoughts and asking for prayer again and again. I’ve had many skirmishes like this, and each time, I have to choose to follow God’s prescription to Joshua for overcoming fear: I take courage. I stand on God’s Word. And I use His promises to diligently guard and restore my heart against fear. As I persevere, I am filled with God’s peace. Even though I may leave the engagement bruised and battered, I am not defeated.

I love what David says in Psalm 27:3, “When besieged, I’m calm as a baby. When all hell breaks loose, I’m collected and cool.” No matter how many times fear comes against us, we can maintain our confidence and peace by believing His promise to Joshua and to us: “As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you or forsake you.”

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, “I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

Eleanor Roosevelt

How to Overcome the Fear of Death

If we live, we live for the Lord; if we die, we die for the Lord.

So, if we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

Romans 14:8

It wasn’t so long ago that I found myself face-to-face with the fear of death. My morality came crashing down around me and the awareness that my life could be nearing its end overwhelmed me with fear. Some days I could hold it at bay, but bad reports or even happy moments triggered my anxiety, and I would walk around acting, talking and looking normal, but on the inside experiencing “death days.”

Why We Love to Gather

I admit it. I still love to gather women.

After all these years of serving the local church as a women’s pastor, I still get excited as the cars begin to stream into the parking lot. A smile breaks across my face as they line up at the door, waiting for them to swing wide. My heart skips a beat and my palms sweat a bit as they pour into the lobby. And as the opening moments of our gathering draw near, I feel a deep satisfaction and a realization that all the hard work is worth it.

I’m definitely not a traditional pastor, as I would define it. I don’t prepare a weekly sermon, conduct many funerals or weddings, or even walk around with a robe or collar. But I do care for, think about, and gather the female members of our church with the intention of shepherding them into greater faith and stronger community on a regular basis.

In my early days of serving women, my “pastoring” looked more like friendship and a face-to-face conversation across my kitchen table. With our Bibles opened and a cup of coffee in our hands, we’d begin to share our lives. As I welcomed her into my own home, I created a sense of warmth, hospitality, and beauty. I thought about her needs and what would make her feel most valued. I prayed for her and hoped that our time together would be an encouragement for her heart and a catalyst for spiritual growth.

Soon I wanted to reach more women, so I opened my home to a small group who began to meet on a regular basis. Every week, I was excited to welcome them into my home and into my life. Here I learned a lot about what makes a woman feel cared for, heard, empowered, and loved.

Eventually we started hosting events at the church or retreat centers, building getaways, larger Bible study groups, and training opportunities for leadership development and evangelism. I discovered the joy of being a part of a larger community of believers and experienced the empowerment of a corporate gathering.

Today, I am privileged to serve as a part of a team that is committed to the value and vision of gathering women. For the past fifteen years, we’ve gathered women countless times for all kinds of reasons: conferences, women’s nights, global trips, leadership development, small groups, community service, prayer events, and even just for fun.

Regardless of the size of the gathering, I still fall back on the essential building blocks I first learned around my kitchen table. I still think about every element of the gathering and ask myself what is required to get her interest and how can I create a gathering place that is beautiful, safe, and honoring to God.

Today, my “kitchen table” is a bit larger and my bringing many friends together a bit more complex. My pastoring must look like a strange mix of corporate representation, relationship building, and party planner.

Although gathering women is a ton of work, it is essential in order to build the local church. Women often represent 60% or more of the local church membership and are the primary volunteer force. In addition, if you can capture the interest and heart of a woman, she will bring along her family. She sets the emotional environment of her home and is often the person that draws her family into a deeper investment in spiritual life.

This is the whole reason that most women’s ministries are birthed.

Generally, there will be a couple of women who want to get together to encourage each other. They want to study the word, share life, and pray for one another. Out of this healthy desire, more formal and broader reaching gatherings naturally occur. Before you know it, someone’s gone to the leadership of the church and asked to do a thing or two to gather women, and suddenly, another women’s ministry is launched.

Other ministry leaders often ask me questions about gatherings. How do you get women to come? How do you decide what to do? What kinds of things should we include? When is the best time to gather women? How do you know if a gathering is successful? Although these are goods questions, I don’t think they are the most important.

The question I’d rather you ask is “Why?” Why gather women?

There are many reasons to gather but there are two primary reasons that motivate me.

First, it is important to create a place of safety and belonging where a woman can effectively experience the presence of Christ and secondly to fulfill the mandate of Titus 2: teach the younger. This used to happen naturally in homes, families, and local communities. Several generations often lived in the same home and if not in the same home, most certainly in the same community.

Our mother and grandmothers taught us the basics of our spiritual development, our family relationships, and our sense of belonging. Today, the average woman’s life is much more complicated. She is far more likely to live in a different location than her parents or siblings. She usually works outside her home, is involved in some type of volunteer organization, and still manages to care for her family and home. She has aspirations for her life to be purposeful in many ways yet often feels isolated and alone.

The sense of community and camaraderie that were common for our grandmothers is unusual for us today. We now form community around social media tools and depend upon the worldwide Internet for our counsel and education. Don’t get me wrong! I love the generation in which we live, and I think that women are in the midst of the most empowering, meaningful season of any prior generation. But no amount of on-line community or education will replace the sense of belonging that happens when you are a part of something bigger than yourself.

We have an inherent need to be a “living stone” in the house of God. Women are natural gatherers. If you leave them alone, they will intuitively form clusters and groups. They tend to find someone they can relate to and who shares a similar passion or life season. They gather around all kinds of issues and topics, from workplace interest to PTA; from life stage or personal interest; and even from passions for music, movies, books, or videos. Without intention, she will search for and relate herself to others for influence, relationship, and fun. T

his tendency definitely makes the work easier, but it doesn’t make it simple. The church is competing with thousands of voices and opportunities for women. If we want women to develop a healthy, Bible-based, God-centered world view, and healthy relationships to boot, we’ve got to create gatherings that are varied and interesting enough to draw them into our circle.

Just consider these questions:

To whom is she listening?

Where is she getting her counsel?

Who is helping her to grow as a woman, a leader, a wife, a mother, a daughter, an employee, a friend?

Why would she add a church gathering to a long list of life demands?

What do we offer that she can’t get anywhere else?

How can I provide a gathering that will draw her attention from so many other voices and bring her near to experience a divine connection, a spirit-led inspiration, a unique gathering that will meet her needs?

If you ponder these types of questions until you begin to find the answers, then you will build a gathering for women that are based upon the “why.” All the other questions about how, when, what, or where will naturally fall into order and clarity.

So go ahead.

Invest the time, thought, and energy into building, stewarding, and enjoying gatherings for women. Your work will be rewarding, and the Kingdom of God will be expanded. The women you serve will grow healthier and more confident. Your own heart will overflow with joy at the work of your hands, and the church will fulfill its mission. Christ will be lifted high.

Choose Life

While driving in bright and early this morning I prayed for God's grace to receive a negative report and be unmoved.  Numbers, words, and reports are all like debris in the wind to me.  They swirl and threaten and confuse.  Instead I asked myself, what has the Lord said?

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life,so that you and your children may liveand that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Deut. 30:19-20 (NIV)

The past few weeks have been really challenging for me.  I went through a few death days.  Every single place I turned it was like another puzzle piece that fit within a puzzle called death.  Each piece was clarifying a picture of doom.  With each additional piece I cried, considered, processed - even wondered if God was resisting me - if He was saying this is the end.

Sometimes my strengths become a weakness. I was processing with my gift of strategy, not my gift of faith.  As I read the land, the signpost and the options, I began to project the future.  My thinking became cloudy with despair, disappointment and fear. I was being invited to believe the lie that God was abandoning me on the field, in my football uniform (squared up) completely crushed and wounded.  I imagined Him looking at me with pity and turning away.  I was left defeated.  Dead.

As I type these words I am amazed at how easily I can be sucked into the lies of the devil.  All of that reasoning produced death in my thinking and aligned me to the wrong head. I was leaning on the wrong gift and slowly, surely surrendering my authority and my future.

Thank God that in His great love for me and in His wisdom, He has heard my cries.  He came to me in my pit of fear and accusation and sat with me.  He began providing an onslaught of life-changing, thought-revoking, mind- transforming images, prayers, and conversations. He allowed me to process those experiences with Him and gave me an opportunity to make a different choice.  I began to ask myself well "What has God said?"

He said square up and fight from a position of rest.  He said the battle belonged to Him and that if I would wait upon Him He would scatter, rout, and completely disperse my enemies. And finally, He said when I had done all He instructed to simply stand.  If he gave me all these strategies then He wants me to live.  My obedience will be the proof of my love and my trust in Him and Him alone.

I noticed it says all of heaven and earth are called as a witness against me. In my mind's eye, I see all the spectators of heaven and earth looking down into the pit where God and I are talking.  They are holding bated breath to see what I will do.  Then some shout choose life and others shout choose death.  I am in a gladiator ring where the outcome is sure.  Someone is going to die.  It is me?  Or is it cancer?  My decision at this moment is so important.  So...

I choose life and I choose it carefully, with a sober mind and thought.  This is not positive or wishful thinking. This is not believing that somehow I'm in charge of this situation. This is a faith-filled, anointed, authoritative decision to trust God more than I trust myself.

I choose life and when I choose it I also choose the blessing.  I choose to obey so that my children and I  will live.  I choose according to His goodwill so that I can love the Lord with my whole heart, hear his voice, and cling to Him.  I choose life because He is my life and he wants to give me many years in this land.

So with a little (a lot) of help from my friends, over the past few weeks, I've broken the curse and power of death over my life, broken a generational curse of early death in my family, and broken soul ties and alliances with the enemy again.  I've confessed my weakness, my doubt, my fear of abandonment, and received a fresh baptism of faith.  I obeyed over a situation that was terrifying and difficult.  I've had a greater vision and understanding of the term "square up" and I have decided...

I will live and not die and declare the works of the Lord. Psalm 118:17

So many of you have gone out of your way to let me know you are lifting me in prayer.  Can I invite you to declare life over me with new confidence?  I know the good report has yet to come, but it will come.  And please don't stare into your own pit of despair and let the spectators sway you. Christ is with you. Choose life. Choose blessing.

Don't Give Up

This morning I got up early and headed up to deck 10 to take a walk. Last year I sailed on this boat and I remembered how beautiful the morning sun was on the water. I took along my music, put on my sunglasses, new shoes and headed out the door As soon as I arrived on deck 10 and the doors slid open I felt a blast a wind hit my face. I headed out to the track and turned left. Immediately the wind hit my back, propelling me forward. I held onto my phone a little tighter as I realized the wind could whip it from my hand. As I got to the rear of the ship and passed across the back, I had a moment of reprieve as the night club on deck 11 blocked the wind.

Then I headed directly into the sun and the most intense windstorm.

It takes a lot more determination to walk when the wind is in your face. I had to lean in and press forward in order to make it all the way around the deck. It wasn’t as beautiful this time because I couldn’t really concentrate on the scenery because I was focusing on one foot in front of the other.

Then I rounded the front corner and the wind hit my back again. At first I thought this will be easier. But then a big gust came and I almost stumbled. I could feel the wind shove me forward, pressing me to go faster than I wanted to go.

Circle after circle around the deck I felt the wind swirl, blow and rage all around me. It made threatening noises and disturbed my peace. I put my eyes on the steps in front of me and just kept moving forward. I was determined to get my four laps in for the day.

As I walked I thought about how I’ve been feeling the past few days. As I am coming off the steroids I am experiencing the low that follows the high. I am easily tired and find myself crashing by mid-afternoon. Forget staying up late – it’s practically painful. To top it off, I’m still not sleeping through the night. I’m frustrated by my bodies lack of rebound and I just want to feel good. I find that a tired body speaks so loudly and constantly reminds me of my weakness.

it began to occur to me that my walk around the deck was a picture of how I am feeling in the spirit and a really good illustration of spiritual warfare.  In my own life, I feel the wind of resistance.  I can’t see it, but I can feel it. And just about the time I think I’ve broken through and gotten a reprieve, it seems I turn my face straight into the wind again. I have to build strength by overcoming the resistance and I have to be resolute in my determination to keep going.  I want it to be beautiful sunrises and great scenery but usually it's more like a threatening storm.

Spiritual warfare is a real thing. You have a real enemy. And he is relentless, cruel and sneaky. He wants you to struggle against the wind, striking at enemies you can’t see, being overcome by forces that are invisible. He wants to intimidate you and he wants to threaten you. He wants us to give up.

On lap three I glanced up and saw three friends right in front of me who were on their own walk. Suddenly I felt a little lighter and I was grateful to make my final lap with them. The wind, the noise and pressure bothered me so much less. I easily finished the final stretch.

Maybe you can relate to my spiritual walk. Maybe you been feeling like the wind is blowing you every which way and trying its best to knock you down, hold you back or force you to advance too quickly. You’ve been concentrated on staying on your feet and pressing through to the end goal.

Now look up.  All around us are encouragers and helpers - others on a similar journey - who are willing to walk with you.

I’m grateful for the grace of God in the midst of the storms of life. I find every morning He meets me with grace for today. (By the way – I have no grace for tomorrow or next week. I only have manna for today and that’s all you’ve got too.) Just when I want to give up or even consider believing a lie, he sends a friend to walk with me. Sometimes the friend is a sister, my husband or even my kids. Sometimes he reminds me I am never alone and the Holy Spirit is companion enough for me.

So I finished my four rounds, hurried back to my room and started drafting this note to you.

Remember, it’s just wind. Don't give up.  Just keep walking.

How to Effectively Use a Daily Devotional

Most of us have good intentions to study and read our Bible but often find our daily devotional reading inconsistent.  What starts out with high motivation and hope for insight and revelation, sometimes just results in disappointment and a load of guilt.

This is where a daily devotional can be a helpful tool.

The purpose of a good devotional is primarily to point us to God and to His Word.  It helps us to reflect on our relationship with Him and how His written Word can impact our daily life.  It can overcome distractions, focus our thoughts, and help deepen our understanding of Scripture.  Although not a replacement for your Bible, it can be an effective tool for spiritual development.

How to Effectively Use a Daily Devotional

• Develop the Right Attitude

Too many people approach a devotional or Bible study as a job - a duty - a task to check off the list.  I encourage you to develop a mindset that says "I get to." I get to spend a few minutes with God's word today.  It's not a duty - it's a pleasure.  (If you don't yet "feel" this way - please test me.  You will develop an appetite for what you consume.  If duty is the starting place - then begin there, but pleasure is the attitude that will lead to a lifelong love of God's Word.)

• Stick with it

It is natural to start strong.  Many people get excited and feel inspired at the beginning of a new devotional, but soon lose their steam and give up.  Anything worthwhile requires pressing through the transition from starting to finishing.  This will be worth it.  Day by day and brick by brick you are building your spiritual foundation.  If you give it enough time, you will soon develop a healthy appetite for this devotional time - and you will hunger to return to it again and again. (See point #1 as a reminder.)

• Listen to God

Devotionals are intentionally brief and narrow in focus and application.  I've always thought this was an advantage because it encourages us to pause and ponder about what the Holy Spirit wants to say to us personally.  This might be the most important part of your devotional.  Here you go from reading about someone else's revelation to receiving your own.  If you interact with God through prayer and quiet yourself to listen - you will soon gain tremendous insight and joy from this exercise.

• Write it down

Keep a personal journal handy and make a brief entry about your thoughts.  I'm always amazed at the capacity of the human mind to quickly forget what God has said or done.  When I pick up an old journal I am always surprised that I have forgotten so much of our exchange.  Utilizing a journal is an ancient practice that yields huge reward and accelerates our spiritual growth.

Are you ready for a brand new daily devotional? 

The Invitation is a new devotional just for women designed to help you discover the depth of the Father's love and to experience His unconditional acceptance of you.  This tool will help you overcome feelings of being overlooked or forgotten.  It will remind you how important you are to God

Things to remember:

• The Invitation is available for a short-term special price for $15.

• It includes 312 devotions from 51 different contributors and is a hard-back edition.

• Great gift idea.

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One Good Girlfriend Can Change Your Life

I am extremely blessed to have a lot of great girlfriends, but that hasn’t always been the case.

For most of my life, my soul was too influenced by culture, wounded by circumstance, and calloused by selfishness to see the incredible women around me. Since I had no brothers or sisters, everything I learned early on about peer relationships developed in a school setting. As a teenager, I ran with a group of girls who competed for the attention of boys, stabbed one another in the back, and walked away when a friendship was inconvenient.

I’m sure I was the leader of the pack.

I didn’t hate girls—I just didn’t know them, and I certainly didn’t trust them.

I managed to have lots of superficial relationships and spent most of my time with boys. As I grew older, I protected myself from other girls, sought value and affirmation from work and men, and generally rejected my own gender’s offer of help or friendship.

My view of women began to change in 1991, when God brought the most amazing gift into my life.

Her name was Lee Ann.

One afternoon, Lee Ann knocked on my door and welcomed me to the neighborhood. I don’t know how she got past all my prickly edges, but she did. She helped me find a babysitter, encouraged me to attend the local block party, invited Mark and me over to play cards, and became my best walking buddy.

There was something different about her.

First of all, she was consistently kind. She never said an ugly word about anyone. In addition, she was innately optimistic. She looked at every situation with a certain expectation of a positive outcome.

Over the years, Lee Ann loved me.

Slowly, sweetly, quietly, she melted my defenses.

Before I knew it, I loved her too.

She taught me a number of important things—like how to ask a deep question, how to listen, how to endure hardship, how to believe the best of others, how to present Jesus without religious trappings or heavy condemnation. She showed me how to love my husband, and how to speak to my daughter with kindness.

She didn’t do any of these things with an attitude of instruction. She simply modeled grace, spoke hope, and remained faithful. She mentored me before I even knew what the word meant.

She made me glad to be a woman.

That one friendship transformed my life.

A longing for authentic, rich, uplifting relationships with women seeped into my bones. I wanted to be for other women what Lee Ann was to me: a good friend who became a catalyst for change and pointed the way to Jesus Christ.

---

*Excerpt from

Women at War

“If you catch the principles that Jan outlines in this book and apply them to your own life, there is no telling what God can do in and through you.”

Robert Morris, Senior Pastor, Gateway Church

“Jan points us to a better way — a way of peace, encouragement and mutual strength…”

Kari Job Carnes, Dove and Grammy awarded worship recording artist

What's Your Passion?

Passion is an incredible motivator.

Passion will drive you to do things you never thought possible. It will sustain you when you've yet to reach your goals. It will give you power to produce results.

If I ask the average man on the street what they are passionate about, I usually get one of three responses.

1 - I don't know.  (Many people have never stopped to ask themselves what they are passionate about.)

2 - I'm passionate about lots of things...followed by a litany of seemingly random possibilities. (We are often indiscriminate in our passions, saying we love chocolate with the same measure of enthusiasm as we like our latest Netflix series or sometimes even our spouse.)

3 - I'm passionate about what I do. (We tend to focus on what we do more than why we like to do it.)

What we casually identify as passion is often just an indicator of a root motivation we've yet to identify. 

If you give me a list of things you like, then I want to know why you like those things. If you tell me you are passionate about kids or dogs or Jesus, then I want to know why those things produce such enthusiasm in you.

When you connect your activities and experiences with a good review of the things in life you get really excited about...you begin to discover things about yourself you never knew. Bravely digging around in the deeply rooted places of your heart will launch you on a journey of self-discovery that can change everything.  Finding the soul cravings of your heart and being able to state them with confidence will propel you into places of power and impact you've barely even begun to embrace.

I've recently been connected with a whole new community of enthusiastic writers who are stirring up my love for writing. I've played around with writing long enough to know that it requires an extraordinary motivation to persevere.  I find writing both deeply satisfying and sometimes deeply painful. I long to do it effectively but I'm cautious about the cost. I am wondering if I am passionate enough about it to pay the price.

So I am asking myself why do I want to write.  

I could say things like I enjoy sharing my thoughts or it's an interesting way to express myself or this is a great way to talk to myself (because sometimes no one else is reading)...but I need to dig a little deeper.

I believe writing is simply a symptom - one way of many - for me to act upon the deeper desire of my heart...to communicate truth with authenticity, vulnerability and power.

There it is - a passion.

This passion is so deeply rooted that it motivates me.

It drives me to do things I never thought possible.

It sustains me when I have yet to reach my goals.

It gives me power to produce.

So I'm writing...and talking, and studying and praying and thinking about truth.  And as I go everything changes.

Are you lacking the motivation you need to accomplish something you've said you are passionate about?

I am challenging you to dig a little deeper too.

I dare you to explore the hidden regions of your own heart. Go ahead and honor how God has crafted you. Embrace your gifts, strengths, interest and experiences. Dig down deep and discover an underlying passion.  Then write it down so you can remind yourself.  Use it to say yes to some things and no to others.  Allow it to take deep root and manifest in every area of your life.

Then buckle up for the journey.

It can change everything when you dig a little deeper.

There is Always Hope

I have had the most awesome first week of returning to work.  Every place I went I was met with such love and encouragement. When I stepped into my office I was met with a celebration - festive decorations, notes of love, beautiful flowers - and lots of hugs.  I have missed them so much.

I finished the week with a quick trip to Indiana, Pennsylvania to speak at a "Sisterhood" women's night for my friend, Kim Masengale and The Summit Church.  Kim and her husband Mel have a beautiful, growing congregation (and 2 amazing daughters, Abbie and Emma).  Over 400 ladies showed up on Friday night and I shared my heart about how important it is to create healthy female relationships.  It snowed both days I was there and I got to meet with Kim's leaders on two different occasions.  It was a wonderful weekend and I felt like my old myself.

Today Mark and I bought groceries, watched the Masters and tonight I shared dinner with my mom, finished the laundry and got myself ready for another week.

My heart is happy.  My body is feeling strong.  My attitude is hopeful.

This is a good moment. A hopeful moment.

This journey definitely has highs and lows; good and bad; discouragement and hope.  I want to remember both the highs and the lows.  They both testify to me of the faithfulness of God.

If you find yourself in a less than good moment in your own journey, please let me encourage you to just keep standing.  Tonight you will rest and tomorrow will be a new day.  You'll have a better perspective.  You'll get some good news.  There is always hope.

And if things are dark and you are at the end of your rope, then I'd like to lend you my favorite verse.  (I wrote a blog called Resolute that talks about why this is my favorite verse.)

Hold fast to the confession of your faith because He who promised is faithful. 

Heb 10:23

When you don't feel it, then just confess it.

Don't confess your weakness, but rather confess your faith.  It doesn't take much.  Just a mustard seed of faith is enough to please God and move mountains.

Then get some rest.  Wait on the Lord.  He is faithful.

How to Gain Momentum

One of the "benefits" of a serious diagnosis (or maybe it’s of any significant life “challenge”) is that it makes you acutely aware of time. You can’t help but spend some of your suddenly precious time thinking through both your past and your future. And questions? Well there are lots of them, but two that will drive you crazy if you let them are….

How much time do I have left?
How much time have I wasted?

I can easily vacillate between these two, battling the extremes of fear and regret – ping ponging like a table tennis ball - all the while failing to get any grip on either my mind or my life. It is so much easier to entertain the “what if’s” rather than the “what now’s” of life.

Suddenly, I see myself on this journey and it’s as if my life is a Monopoly game and someone is trying to move me from start to finish without my permission. I failed to pass go and collect my $200. I didn’t buy enough property or build a real estate empire. I didn’t ride the railroad enough times or contribute often enough to the community fund. I stomp my foot and declare “I want another chance to go around the board again! To do everything!”

It seems to me that I can choose to focus on all that’s been lost and all that might never be or I can choose to live and live well! It’s time to put my focus on the now of life. I need to ask myself “what NOW?”

I’ve got some dreams that I have been carrying around. Dreams that haven’t yet come to pass! Dreams that cancer is trying to steal from me! Dreams about love and relationships and hope and transformation and blessing and purpose and power!

I’ve been carrying them, but I haven’t been focused enough on doing the things required to bring them to pass. I’ve often been attending to the urgent, rather than the critical. I’ve made the classic mistake of waiting for “something” to happen, rather than intentionally working toward a goal.

Intensive Focus/Time Invested = Momentum.

I need some momentum in my life to help me redeem the time. I’m turning “forty something” in a few short days and suddenly looking down the road toward 50 seems pretty good to me! It’s TIME!

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. NIV

There is an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth. MSG

To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven. AMP

Ec. 3:1

Don't be Afraid

I'm sitting in the reclining chair at the chemo office today. Round #11. Eight months ago today the big "c" word entered my life. I can't grasp all that we've walked through, the victories we've experienced, nor the battles still to come. I am in awe of His faithfulness.

I'm all alone on this end of the room. Lots of people have come and gone throughout the day - but I'm one of the last to finish up. I'm feeling a little sad today. Just found out that one of the ladies I have shared many chemo hours with passed away last week.

Have I told you how much I hate cancer? I really hate it.

Even though I am saddened by her passing, I am grateful for the privilege of having known her in probably the most difficult season of her life. She was sweet and kind and encouraging. A good fighter. Her death is a reminder that this battle is so real.

This morning I was reading in Joshua about how he leads the people to take the promised land. In one section, Joshua is about to direct them on the strategy to take another city and He begins by telling them "Don't be afraid. Don't be discouraged (see Joshua 10:25). It caught my eye that this was exactly what God said first to Joshua. (see Joshua 1, and Joshua 8:1) Joshua begins to instruct the people by first repeating what God had said to him in private.

It seems in a great battle, we must be reminded of what not to be - afraid or discouraged - and we would be wise to declare and repeat the promise and instruction of God to those who walk with us. We are to be brave, courageous and encouraged.

Today I choose to be brave, courageous and encouraged - I don't feel it - but I choose it.

There are great battles on the horizon for you and for me. Battles that will determine where and how we abide. Battles that effect the legacy we leave our children. Battles that can bring glory to God - enough to melt the heart of our enemies by His reputation alone.

Let's not draw back before the sword is even drawn. I want my inheritance - don't you? Don't be afraid. Don't be discouraged. Let's stand up and take the land.

Miracles Make You Ponder

We are all brave acts waiting to happen

and miracles waiting to celebrate.

Rita Springer

I had lunch today with my friend, Rita Springer. Rita is a well-known and respected worship leader, but she is so much more than that.  She's a mom (to her son Justice), sister, aunt, friend, and mentor to many.  She has a unique prophetic anointing on her voice that echoes across heaven as she worships, teaches, preaches, and especially when she locks you in the line of her beautiful blue eyes and shares face-to-face.

Rita has been an inspiration in my life for a long time, ministering often to me through her worship before I ever had the honor of calling her friend.  When I am with her, I am a bit in awe of her faith, personal relationship with Jesus, and her tenacious, overcoming attitude.  I always find a new revelation or insight that sparks more radical faith in me.

Today was no different.

Across our table and within just a few moments, she opened my heart, read my mail, and challenged me to celebrate God's miracles in my life. She spoke some of the prose and poetry of heaven over me and then...just like that...she was on her way.

This evening as I scanned my Instagram account I saw the following post from Rita.  (She shared a little about this story with me during our lunch and I asked her permission to share it here.) I share this "counsel from a wise sage" to any of you who are walking in a season where great courage is required and where miracles are desperately needed.  I hope you dig around a little in her offering and find a blessing there.

I don't know if I believe being brave is a gift that some have and some don't. I tend to think being brave is an option. You choose it.

When a storm comes you hold on through it. When you are pushed to an edge, you dig your heels in. When you are given bad news you swallow hard and think on how every bad thing has good wanting to surface. Rainbows don't appear unless rain and light engage. Neither does bravery appear unless the will is tested and the heart endures.

I feel this year has bravery embedded in it. Exciting but costly.

I was talking to my niece this past weekend about her near death experience. In the eye of her storm, her newborn taken out of her arms and her bloodless body racing toward a hospital, she said she felt of all things...peace. She had a feeling the world she had lived in was about to see a whole new one and while others shouted at her to stay awake she said peace rolled in, sat on her chest and had her in need of bravery. Bravery stood up as an option to grab. Peace sat as a foundation to whatever her choice would be.

Miracles make you ponder...

I am aware that the enemy tries to make miracles a memory of trauma and not a victory of bravery. I'm not sure who this is for, but if you find yourself wondering if you are brave, simply dig your heels in and lift your chin up. We are all brave acts waiting to happen and miracles waiting to be celebrated. I saw these both this past two weeks and I cannot be the same. I choose being BRAVE and loving peace.

(Rita's niece and her beautiful baby are both doing well.  They are a miracle!)