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How to Pray for the Sick - Part #2
Have you ever wanted to pray for someone but held back because you were nervous or unsure how to proceed?
Have you ever wanted to pray for someone but held back because you were nervous or unsure how to proceed? This video blog will help you. Use these final five tips to make a great hospital visit, minister to someone in deep grief or discouragement or simply to improve your prayer manners. (If you missed the Vlog #1 which contains the first five tips on How to (and How Not to) Pray for the Sick, simply click here to catch up.)
Thrive with Strengths
Discover and invest in your innate talents and strengths so you can develop healthier relationships, make better decisions and grow into a more effective leader.
This week I had the best experience.
I had a Strengths Coaching Session with Dr. Joanna Wiesinger of Thrive with Strengths.
Joanna is a Gallup Strengths Coach, speaker, author, and PhD chemist. She’s not only smart, beautiful and creative - she’s one of the most inspiring people I’ve worked with. She is a passionate, insightful teacher and mentor.
Joanna is helping me discover and invest in my innate talents and strengths so I can develop healthier relationships, make better decisions and grow into a more effective leader.
I find I am able to grow faster, wiser and with greater impact, when I’ve taken the time and money to invest in my personal growth through a coaching experience.
Maybe that’s why I’m so passionate about mentoring. When you connect with someone who is an expert in their field, has a passion to help you go to the next level and is trustworthy, you have found a treasure.
Do you want to be a more effective leader?
You too can schedule an individual coaching session with Joanna or a workshop for your team here.
You can connect with her on LinkedIn and you can also watch her recent TEDx talk on the topic of attracting and retaining best talent in the market place here.
Joanna helps leaders and their teams find the right conditions to THRIVE WITH STRENGTHS daily for greater impact.
What are your strengths?
What Great Leaders Do to Win the Fight for Talent.
“When working with individuals, I design sessions to help my clients see the power of their inherent talents and how they can grow them into bona fide strengths. Once they recognize their unique “superpowers,” I help aim their strengths for greater contribution to others .”
Here are my CliftonStrengths Top 10 Results
Strategic
Relator
Individualization
Maximizer
Activator
Belief
Futuristic
Positivity
Empathy
Ideation
Empowering Women in Leadership
Sometimes I wonder if the topic of women in leadership is the “final frontier” of our day.
Sometimes I wonder if the topic of women in leadership is the “final frontier” of our day. (Now just for fun, imagine my best Star Trek voice.) These are the voyages of women everywhere. Their lifetime mission: to explore strange new worlds of authority, to seek out new leadership opportunities and communities, to boldly go where no man has gone before.
Seriously, sometimes it feels like we are forging territory we’ve never crossed before, as if an empowered woman was something to view as a strange phenomenon, something heroic and daring. Yet the truth is women have been in positions of authority and influence since the beginning of time. Remember the quote “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world”? Mothers raise their children with the intention of empowering them to grow strong and mighty. Her greatest desire is to teach them to walk confidently into their destiny.
We can easily scan the Scripture and find example after example of women who used their influence and their position to positively influence the next generation. There are many empowering and empowered women in our presence today; they simply are appearing in bold and new ways. You and I live in a generation where women can be a mom and CEO; a pastor or president; single and a leader. This shift in opportunities for women has left many confused or fearful about how to navigate in our generation.
The real question is how do we empower women in a way that releases the very best of their strength, gender, and compassion?
The answer is grace.
If you and I could learn to become “grace-filled” leaders, we would naturally become empowering leaders. Grace is not leniency, indulgence, or even acceptance of bad behavior or sloppy work. It’s not about softly coercing others into following. Rather grace is the key to power. So what is grace? Grace can be defined as unmerited favor. We can’t earn it, and we don’t deserve it. It is the gift of the unearned kindness and favor of God toward us. We first experience the grace of God at the moment of our salvation.
“For by grace (unmerited favor) you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (NIV, Ephesians 2:8-9).
Once we know Christ, grace overflows into all aspects of our lives, giving us a divine ability to compassionately accept ourselves and others while releasing a confident expectation that we are becoming more and more like Jesus. Grace drives out judgment, condemnation, and belittlement. It destroys hopelessness and is essential for real transformation in our lives.
That is what grace is, but what grace does is the key to empowering others.
Grace is power – a divine power to “will and do” (NIV, Philippians 2:13) according to God’s purpose.
“With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there were no needy persons among them” (NIV, Acts 4:33).
When we receive grace, we are empowered. When we give grace, we empower others.
Grace enables us to change, to become like Christ, to mature, to dream, to experience revelation, to become something and someone more than we have ever been. It involves the tenacious belief in the best version of who God created people to be, and it refuses to allow those we lead to live beneath the vision of God’s highest dreams for their lives. When we lead by grace, we demonstrate a courage and confidence in how God created us – and we naturally extend the same grace to those who follow.
People follow leaders who exhibit a compassionate understanding of where they are right now while empowering them to make courageous, faithful choices that help them become successful.
I personally experienced grace in a transformative way when I was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer in 2009. I was already working as a part of the women’s ministry team at Gateway Church. We were in a particularly busy season with lots of ministry projects that required attention. Soon after I was diagnosed, I began to think about how the team would need to shift or change in order to continue with the forward momentum we needed.
I am naturally strategic in my thinking, and, as an only child, I am also pretty practical. In addition, I tend to be performance-driven. Because I have a strong gift of leadership, I can barrel through and make things happen. I thought I knew what needed to be done. I needed to step aside, and others would need to step up. Ministry deadlines would not yield to my circumstances, and as a result, I would need to drop out or move to the side. I was very unhappy that cancer would steal my involvement in a team and ministry that I loved.
Yet, when I visited with my friend and boss, Pastor Debbie Morris, she had a different strategic vision in mind. Rather than sitting me down, she stood me up. She recommended that we wait and see. “Let’s see how you handle the treatments and then determine how it will impact your work. We can stop ministry and wait until we know more.”
We can stop? We can wait?
At that moment, God released a sweet, sweeping sense of grace. She was telling me in my weakness – at the moment I could not perform or lead – there was still a place for me. She valued me over the work of the ministry.
This changed my life.
I approached treatment with a desire to keep working. Pastor Debbie gave me permission to attend to my medical needs and to continue to work as I felt able. Over the next 18 months, I experienced 19 rounds of chemotherapy, a full regimen of radiation, and a lumpectomy. I did not work everyday, but I did work consistently.
And somehow, all the ministry moved forward. God graced me with the ability to accomplish more with less. I learned that my weakness was not a disqualification but rather an opportunity to rest in grace.
That experience changed how I lead. Now I want to pour out grace on others. I want them to feel the sweet, sweeping impact of grace and how it makes us feel valuable, empowered, and blessed. When grace is poured out on our weaknesses, we will experience the beauty of a powerful leader and become empowered to move forward.
Now that we’ve established how powerful grace can be, let’s think about the concept of leadership.
What is leadership?
Leadership is not control, manipulation, coercion or the use of might to motivate others. “
You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead you must be a servant and whoever wants to be first must be your slave, for even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many” (NIV, Matthew 20:24-28).
So much of the leadership we see in the world looks like “lording it over others.” There are plenty of opportunities to practice this style of leadership. It’s full of selfish ambition, desire for control, and is rooted in forcing others into cooperation. Apparently this has been an issue for a very long time because Jesus clearly felt the need to redefine leadership as servanthood. He didn’t just talk about leadership, He modeled it. His whole leadership development program was based upon a “come, follow me” style of compassion and service to others.
'Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms” (NIV, I Peter 4:10).
When we set out to serve one another, to share the gospel, or to offer encouragement, God bestows a divine authority on our work. With that authority comes an equal measure of responsibility. We are responsible to steward our authority for the good of others and for the destruction of darkness. Leadership is also about teamwork and partnerships. You and I partner with God and one another to accomplish a divine purpose.
This is at the core of Godly leadership.
The church is a team. Our families are a team. Our circles of influence are a team. Leadership is service in its purist form.
It’s more about our willingness to take the lower, more humble position than it is about our ability to lead the charge.
If we want to be a better leader, we must become a better servant.
So, what’s empowering you?
If you are empowered by pain, fear, selfish ambition, or lack, you will be a leader that struggles to empower others. But, if your power comes from Jesus Christ, the source of all authority, you will lead with grace empowering others and producing a beautiful array of fruitfulness in your life and in the lives of others.
5 Tips to Help You Hear God's Voice
Hearing God's voice and sharing what you hear for the purpose of encouraging another is the gift of prophecy in operation.
Hearing God's voice and sharing what you hear for the purpose of encouraging another is the gift of prophecy in operation. According to I Corinthians 14:3, this gift edifies, exhorts, and comforts; helps us build up or strengthen; and points us to the Word of God
Receiving a prophetic word is life changing. Mark and I have received prophetic words that have shaped our faith and our fight. We've received words that have given us healing, comfort and direction for the future and we've had our gifts and callings confirmed. Some words have been public. Many words have been private. And some of the most pivotal words have been the ones God spoke directly to our own hearts in the midst of our private worship.
If you've never received a prophetic word, I have good news for you. You can pursue God for a word for yourself. He loves to speak to His children and He always has something to share with you.
So don't wait for a public ministry moment or for someone else to see and hear on your behalf. All believers can boldly pursue a conversation with God.
Here are my 5 favorite tips to help you hear God's voice.
1 - Be still
Settle down. Get yourself in a position to hear God. Gather everything you might want or need. For me it's a very practical list: blanket, Bible, glasses, pen, journal and my cup of coffee.
2 - Worship
Use the first few moments to just turn your attention to the presence of God. He is always with us, but I don't always acknowledge Him. I try to clear my mind a bit by thanking Him for loving me. You can use worship songs, prayer, or writing in a journal - whatever helps you tune into the presence of God.
3 - Ask a good question
Find a good question to ask God, and then wait just a moment. Sometimes I ask a question and hear nothing. Try again. Ask a different question. Still don't hear? Get more specific. It's like finding the exact radio frequency that God wants to use to speak directly to you. Sometimes there is a lot of static at first, then bits and pieces begin to break through and then suddenly you slip into the stream of His voice and you can hear.
4 - Write it down
If at all possible, just start writing. As you write, set your heart to believe. Sometimes the word is so dramatic and accompanied by such specific imagery that I can hold onto it without recording it. Other times God is so subtle, specific and tender that if I don't grasp it so quickly and I lose it. It still brings life to me, but I lose the ability to steward it for my blessing over and over.
5 - Obey
Now we can become like Timothy and learn to use the prophetic word spoken to wage war in the spirit. The more you thank God for it, believe God and battle with it, the greater will be the blessing and the manifestation of His word in your life.
What's your favorite tip for hearing God?
Hottest Before the Breakthrough
Waiting on a breakthrough? Things getting worse rather than better? Then hold on. It’s hottest right before the breakthrough.
Many trials intensify right before the breakthrough.
Just when you think it can’t get any hotter, suddenly a fresh burst of oxygen reaches the coals of your struggle and the heat turns up.
The thing that has been threatening you or delaying you begins to prophecy your demise.
Hold on!
It’s often hottest right before the breakthrough.
Fiery trials are the doorway to a miraculous turn around.
In Daniel 3, we are introduced to the fiery trial of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.
These three Jewish men who were living in exile as bond servants and slaves to a foreign government did everything required of them with excellence except give their worship to a golden statue.
They were offered an opportunity to escape the consequences of their disobedience if only they would bend their knee.
Otherwise, they would be burned alive in a fiery furnace.
We pick up with their story in Daniel 3.
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered King Nebuchadnezzar, “Your threat means nothing to us.
If you throw us in the fire, the God we serve can rescue us from your roaring furnace and anything else you might cook up, O king. But even if he doesn’t, it wouldn’t make a bit of difference.
We still wouldn’t serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up.”
Just when it seemed there was no escape, the pressure to give in intensified. More than that - the fire got hotter.
The king had the men stoke the fire until it was seven times hotter.
Then he threw them into the furnace.
The king himself tells us what happens next in Daniel 3:24-28.
“Suddenly King Nebuchadnezzar jumped up in alarm and said, “Didn’t we throw three men, bound hand and foot, into the fire?”
“That’s right, O king,” they said.
“But look!” he said. “I see four men, walking around freely in the fire, completely unharmed! And the fourth man looks like a son of the gods!”
Nebuchadnezzar went to the door of the roaring furnace and called in, “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the High God, come out here!”
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego walked out of the fire
The closer you draw to the breaking point, the closer you come to breakthrough. Fiery trials strengthen our faith. The way we are strengthened is by steadfastly standing on the Word of God, waiting to see how God will work this trial for our good.
In the moments when we are beyond our own ability to change the outcome or circumstances, we begin to rest in God’s strength. As we walk through the fire, others recognize that God is with us.
Every trial does not end with the miracle we were believing for. Either way, the presence of Christ in the midst of the fire will preserve us.
Our real breakthrough is not found in a release from our trial, but in the intimate and personal care of Jesus.
If you or someone you love is discouraged because their situation is increasingly difficult or seemingly endless, encourage them to hold on.
When you walk through fire with the “fourth man” (Jesus), your persecution, oppression, pain, loss or fear have no power over you.
Waiting for a breakthrough?
Here are some recommended resources from women who have been there and can help you.
Peace is the Key to Sustainable Rest
The key to sustainable rest - the kind that heals the body and the soul - is to treat the mind with truth.
Trusting God is good for your health. Proverbs 3:15
When you trust God, you don't worry. Psalm 116:7
A heart at peace, gives life to the body. Proverbs 14:30
When God first instructed me to rest, I could only imagine that He was asking me to do less, to cease activity. This definition made sense because my body was under such physical assault, but I found physical rest was only the beginning. No amount of sitting down brought me the kind of rest mandated by the Lord.
God was asking me to go to a whole new level of trust, to really rest in his care of everything that concerned me. He wanted to be my defender, my advocate and my salvation. He wanted to give me peace.
Maybe you are like me, facing some significant challenges that are bigger than your ability to "work" your way out of. If so, I hope the following three things I learned about pursuing peace, will be a blessing to you.
The body needs rest but the mind needs truth.
As I began to recover my physical strength, I quickly realized that no amount of sleep was going to give me long-term peace. I could wake in the morning following a good night's sleep and find my heart in my throat, filled with anxiety and fear. The key to sustainable rest - the kind that heals the body and the soul - is to treat the mind with truth. Truth drives out fear and brings peace. Anxious? Read, study and memorize the Word of God.
A heart at peace gives life to the body.
There is something mystical about the body's healing power. When it is aligned with the will of God, it heals. This is true of a broken bone - when aligned - it will heal. This is also true of a broken heart. When it comes into agreement with the will and Word of God, there is a supernatural release that somehow provides a natural blessing. We underestimate the power of agreeing with God about who we are and who He is. Daily, I set my heart back in alignment so that it may rest. This rest produces a spring of peace. When my heart is at peace, my body (or my circumstance) is able to begin to heal - to even recuperate.
While we rest at peace God works.
I have perceived rest as wasted time. I've even been so arrogant as to perceive sickness as a weakness of character. This has been a form of judgment against myself and others. Learning that my lack of production does not decrease my value in the eyes of God, has been a game changer. When I can do nothing, God still works on my behalf. His favor and love are not a reward reserved for good performance, but rather a gift that constantly blesses my life. I'm finally learning that if I will rest in peace, He will make a way for me.
Other Posts That You Might Enjoy
When Your Back is Up Against the Wall
Resource Recommendation: Made Like Martha
Becoming A Brave Strong Girl
My husband so sweetly told me he was proud of me and that I was brave and strong.
My husband so sweetly told me this week that he was proud of me and that I was brave and strong. I so want to be brave and strong but the truth is I mostly just feel weak and frightened. Cancer is a disease that dogs you. It just nips at your heals, threatens your peace and has a nasty habit of camouflaging itself for long seasons and suddenly reappearing in new locations with new vengeance. Even when you are cancer free, it whispers around the corners of your ears and reminds you that you are weak.
I have a six-year season of victory - and it has been pretty amazing. God healed me so completely and so miraculously that I have found myself in awe of His goodness. However, the truth is I must be vigilant all the remaining days of my life - because this disease is just like our enemy, Satan. it is ruthless, persistent and mean-spirited. It is directly from the pit of hell and it works to steal, kill and destroy everything that I value.
So how do I begin from here? How do I go from healed to ill to well again? How do I become a strong, brave girl?
I'm learning that when God told Joshua to take courage (nine times in the first chapter of Joshua alone) it wasn't because Joshua was a big chicken who needed to be coerced into obeying. It was because true courage requires obedience in the face of great fear. It was and is a fearsome thing to trust our God enough to simply obey.
And about strength. No one ever told me that you can be completely, totally unable to do one thing for yourself or others - and yet in that moment - find there is still some thin strand of strength that just won't let go. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." I think this time around I am going to be quicker to confess my weakness, less worried about being so strong, and more focused on Christ's power resting in me.
I am going to need some help. I need the support of friends and family who will cheer my family on in this most recent adversity. Part of what can make us all brave and strong is the expression of love and support for one another.
If you've brave enough or interested enough, please follow along with me. And consider doing more than that. Leave me a note of encouragement. I promise to read every one of them. And then go ahead and be a brave, strong girl (or guy) yourself. Face your adversity with a little sass and a lot of joy. Together, we can overcome and somehow weak and frightened will become brave and strong.
Do You Struggle with Discomfort?
Most of the time I find I am uncomfortable. I think this springs from a life-long fight with fear and insecurity.
I am so uncomfortable...again.
Most of the time I find I am uncomfortable.
I think this springs from a life-long fight with fear and insecurity.
I don't know why I struggle so much because I have a lot of reasons to feel secure. I am loved. I am safe. I am saved.
What else could a girl need? Apparently, to feel comfortable.
Uncomfortable - causing or feeling slight pain or physical discomfort (Webster)
Uncomfortable - causing or feeling emotional, mental and spiritual anxiety (Jan)
It's not physical discomfort that tends to rock my world. After all these years, I've learned there is usually some form of relief I can find from physical pain. (Thank goodness for modern medicine.)
It's the pain of the heart, the effect of wounds, the threat of loss, the bite of disappointment that I struggle with. I constantly am maneuvering to move myself from uncomfortable to comfortable.
A few years ago I was complaining to God about how tired I was of constantly struggling with being uncomfortable. I seemed to always be unsure of my place. I didn't know for sure when to speak up and when to shut up. Should I stand up or should I sit down? Is this the moment to advance or is this the moment to withdraw?
I heard the Holy Spirit whisper -
"Didn't you want to be on the front lines?"
Years ago I picked up my first book on spiritual warfare. I don't remember the title, but I remember that is was red and black and that every time I looked at it I felt uncomfortable. I was so uncomfortable that I hid it in my underwear drawer face down. I eventually gave it away to someone else I thought needed help more than me. (Wow! Ultimate arrogance.) No surprise, I had to buy it again and eventually I found the courage to dig into some territory that was so uncomfortable.
Where would I be today if I hadn't finally been awakened to the forces of war all around me? More importantly, I became aware of the spiritual authority resident in me.
I remember having this moment of revelation.
I finally acknowledged I was in a war - the war of wars - but I only wanted to be in the support troops. I told God I'd serve in the kitchen. (Why would I say that to God? We all know I am useless in the kitchen.) It's kind of like when I've said to my boys, you may not join the military, but if you must, you can only be the weather guy. I didn't want them to choose a role that put them on the front line. I wanted them to live, not die.
Obviously, I wanted the same for myself.
I was in the kitchen.
One day (I don't know when or how long it took) I remember moving from the back of the pack to the front lines. I felt called, front and center. I knew the enemy was advancing against me and my family, and I was mad about it. I was tired of depending on others to war on my behalf and I was tired of getting beat up even though I was serving in the canteen.
That day I moved from comfortable to uncomfortable.
Fast forward at least 20 years...and I was so weary with uncomfortable. I was daily asking God to take away the sensations of the unknown, the threatening, the nearness of death. I wanted Him to define my "place" so that I could become comfortable. (I just realized I was kind of longing for the kitchen duty again. Foolish!)
"Didn't you want to be on the front lines? You can't have comfortable and advance the Kingdom. If you want to be a part of what is happening at the forefront of my Kingdom, you will be uncomfortable, but I will comfort you. In every moment, I am right there with you. I am the comforter."
The price of following hard after the things of God is the willingness to live in the zone of the battle that is uncomfortable. (And by the way - it's too late to go back anyway.) If I really want to leave a mark on others that is beautiful and legacy building, if I really want to be a vital part of what God is doing, then I must stand in the zone of warfare that is uncomfortable.
I have to become comfortable with uncomfortable.
The sensation of being uncomfortable is a sure sign that you are already in your place. (You just don't like your place. Ouch! Talking to myself.) Our place is in the midst of a battle where we can destroy the works of the enemy, advance against darkness, and fulfill our destiny. It's often hand-to-hand combat. We might get wounded or even die. We may be hungry, cold, tired or discouraged, but here's the good news...we are not alone.
He promised to comfort me, in every wave of war, He is with me. He stands next to me. Often He steps in front of me to fend off an especially evil attack. He coaches me to use my weapons well. He encourages me to advance against darkness with great courage. He becomes my strength as I wait in His presence.
I've had to learn that resting in the midst of the uncomfortable is a key to victory. I can take a deep breath, listen for His voice, sense His presence and even be steadfast - all while I am extremely uncomfortable. His presence is comforting even when my circumstance is uncomfortable.
How about you? Always begging God to change your circumstance so you feel less fearful and more comfortable? Welcome to the club.
Can I encourage you to stop focusing on the circumstance and begin to really focus on His presence in the midst of it? This is the highest form of spiritual warfare. Peace in the midst of war. (You will really annoy and confuse your enemies.) Here you can sit in the eye of the storm and be comforted. He will not leave you. You are not alone. All is well.
So Much More
My to do list has become my "I can't do it anymore" list. Or maybe it's become an "I don't want to" list, or God forbid, maybe even an "I won't" list.
I've been thinking a lot lately about all the things I'm not getting done. I'd share them here, but the list is quite staggering. I recently tried my old standby - "the "to do" list.
For years it's been my go-to friend. I'd write everything I could think of on a piece of paper and get the most fun out of checking off each task, one by one. Looking at a well checked list assured me I was okay. I was worthwhile. I was accomplishing things.
So I tried making a new to do list.
It just made me feel overwhelmed. Rather than being motivated, I wanted to stick my head in the sand; climb back in the bed; veg out on Netflix.
My to do list has become my "I can't do it anymore" list. Or maybe it's become an "I don't want to" list, or God forbid, maybe even an "I won't" list.
Apparently, I'm waiting on me to regain my motivation.
The problem is two-fold, as I see it.
1) What's the point? I've sadly discovered the work is never done and that even if you finish, you just begin again. (I can't believe the laundry has to be done over and over.) I need a purpose to help me determine the point - the goal - the win. (Excuse me while I pause to respond to the buzzing of the drier.)
2) Does it really matter? That's a good and honest question. Did you know that if you wait long enough, some of the items on your to do list will just go away? This is a lousy way of taking care of business, but it does highlight the difference between the urgent and the essential. Few things are really essential, but the essential things really do matter. So what is essential?
In the back of my mind, I hear a whisper, "It is just a season. Someday - one day - you'll hit your groove again and your 'to do' will rev like the engine of your BMW, you'll shift into fifth gear, and then watch out world. Check marks galore!"
I'm waiting on a lie. It's not just a season. For more than a year, my "to do" has been having to yield to my "who."
It's messy. It's disconcerting. It raises a question I don't like to ask.
Is who I am really enough?
I'm aware I'm in an identity crisis. Maybe it's a mid-life crisis! (That would explain so much.) I keep hitting the same wall, turning to my fearless leader (the Holy Spirit) and expecting Him to "coach me up."
It must be half-time, because He's not rating my performance, putting me through the drills of self-incrimination nor punishing me for lack of performance.
So since it's half time and all...here's a different kind of to do list. It's short and sweet and ever so kind to my bruised capacities.
Be kind. Anybody else have really bad "self-talk" about your own performance? I'm the first on the line with a whistle and a clip board. This is bad coaching. So first thing on the to do list - just stop being mean to myself and to others.
Eyes on the truth. Who we are matters more than what we do. If we love God and love people, everything else will come into order. Keep your eyes on Jesus and His Word for the truth about the value of who you are.
You are enough. I want to be more like Paul who in Philippians 4: 12-13, shares a very important secret to overcoming the relentless demands of to do. I have learned the secret of being content (satisfied, filled, willing) in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Here is the coaching our weary souls long to receive.Christ doesn't so much want to "coach us up" as he wants to "hold us up."
If we lean into this truth, we begin to understand that "me in Christ and Christ in me" is enough. Our identity will never be found nor confirmed in a "to do" list. We are so much more than that!
Where's My Place?
I recently walked into a meeting room where about 100 people were gathering for a conference. Was there a place for me?
I recently walked into a meeting room where about 100 people were gathering for a conference. Even though I had been invited to the gathering and even though my friend was hosting it, I still had to face a momentary feeling of insecurity. Where was my seat? Was there a place for me? I've had this feeling a million times in my life.
I still feel it a bit when I board an airplane and look down the long aisle. Ticket in hand and seat reserved, I still have butterflies in the pit of my stomach. Where's my seat? Who will I sit near? Will someone else have taken my place?
I also feel this way the first time I attend a new life group. It's pretty intimidating to pull up to someone else's home and invite yourself into their living room. Getting from the car to the living room can seem insurmountable.
Recently we relocated office buildings at work. I was so grateful when my boss opened up his computer to show me the schematic with each person's work space clearly marked by their name. Surprise! There was a space for me.
These momentary flashes of insecurity are easily resolved.
Once we press past the threat of the potential embarrassment of being overlooked or left out and actually "find our place", the sensation passes.
But sometimes this sensation becomes an ongoing state of being.
That's a problem. A big one.
Deep seated insecurity, the kind that leaves you fearful, restless and uncertain, requires the human heart to live on alert.
"Will I be good enough for the job or the relationship?”
“Will I be accepted by this group or that person?
“Am I too tall, too short, too skinny, too fat?”
These examples can be shortened to the real questions of our heart.
"Am I enough?"
"Will I be accepted?"
"Am I okay?"
Meditate on this wonderful verse from the book of Jude and ponder the fact that we are loved and "kept safe" by Jesus. He is the answer to our insecurities.
Jude 1-2 I, Jude, am a slave to Jesus Christ and brother to James, writing to those loved by God the Father, called and kept safe by Jesus Christ. Relax, everything’s going to be all right; rest, everything’s coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way!
Pull Up a Chair
I turned to God in desperation and began to inquire; Where's my place?
I shared last Wednesday night at my Equip class called "Where's My Place?" a story about wrestling with God over where I was to sit in the auditorium of Gateway Church. I was in the house with 4,000 other ladies, seated on the front row next to my boss and co-worker, when another special guest arrived. I saw my teammate trying to help her find a spot and I felt her anxiety. I knew it would be tough to find a seat of honor at this late arrival and I wanted to find a solution. In that moment, I began really struggling with whether or not I should get up and give her my seat. (It sounds honoring when I say it like that, but it wasn't.) I triggered into a full blown wrestling match with my insecurity.
"Who are you to be sitting here? Why do you think you deserve a seat of honor? You don't have any real responsibilities anyway. Get up. Move. Shame on you."
I turned to God in desperation and began to inquire; "Where's my place? Should I stay in my seat, or should I get up? I could move back. I could sit in the team room. My teammate is struggling and I want to rescue her. What should I do? Where's my place?"
I managed to stay in my seat and my teammate found a spot for the guest. But my heart was scarred. I would struggle with the feeling of shame for weeks. Soon, I realized I had been struggling with avoiding this sensation most of my life.
A few weeks later I was on a leadership trip to South America. On this particular trip, we were being led by some amazing volunteer leaders and I was along for problem solving and encouragement. In my current state of mind, I was struggling to keep the tormenting spirit of insecurity at bay and the trip was only giving it fuel. If I wasn't the leader, then what was I?
I had an afternoon alone in a really quiet place, and I just had to hear God. I asked again, "Where's my place?" I was still speaking to God about my natural place. I wanted to know where I was supposed to sit, and what to do. I wanted to feel secure in a particular seat, so that I would feel confident and safe. I wanted to know my role on the team, the trip and in life.
Deep seated insecurity has a way of hiding and/or presenting itself as righteous or helpful. My insecurity was based upon the lie that I have to take care of myself and everyone else as well. (False responsibility)
All my life, I've pretty much been an adult, striving to figure out ahead of time what is needed or required to please others, so that I will not experience the horrible sensation of shame. Failing to control my environment in a way that prevented disappointment or difficulty for myself and others, was completely unacceptable. As a result, I had grown up into a very strong administrative leader. I could "to do" with the best of them. When I "do" I feel less anxiety because I don't have to deal with the more ambiguous and difficult question of "Where's my place?"
In addition, "to do" is highly favored in our culture. High capacity "doers" are usually rewarded for their efforts. They are entrusted with more responsibility and often find themselves leading or serving in a multitude of places. If you have natural gifts that enhance this tendency then you will be honored, promoted, invited, or expected "to do" to your limits. And if you are like me you will come to believe that you are only "loved" if you "do."
But somewhere along the way, all of us encounter seasons, circumstances or difficulties that make our ability "to do" diminish. Sometimes they are natural like aging or illness and sometimes they come in a swift blow like a lay off, a divorce, a financial crisis, or even death of a loved one. Even transition is a form of being uprooted from one seat to another. In those moments, we often experience an identity crisis and we have to go back to God for clarity.
So in that room in Guatemala I finally felt God speak to me. He began not with my natural seat in an auditorium or on a team, but rather with a position. Here's what He said to me.
You are my daughter, my child. Your first place is with me. I seat you in heavenly places among my people and in my house. You are welcomed here. Received. A seat is reserved for you. A dwelling place established. Your place is always in my presence.
I was so fixated on asking about that physical seat that I immediately applied this word to my natural situation - and the application was true.
God was confirming that there was a seat for me in His house. I don't have to be in one particular seat. When I come into the physical church gathering, I can choose any seat I like. All of them belong to me (and my brothers and sisters), because I belong to Him. I am always at home in the house of God and there is a place for me.
I was frustrated with this answer because I felt he wasn't addressing the real question. Of course, God in his love and wisdom was addressing the real problem.
He was speaking to the root of insecurity in my life and dealing with the identity crisis I was stuck in. He was speaking to me about my position, not so much my place.
As truth moved from my mind to my heart, I began to understand He was revealing to me a spiritual seat, one in the presence of God that had been especially reserved for me. Because I belong to Him, I never have to work or scramble or wonder where I should sit. Rather, I should always pull up a chair in my Father's presence and rest in the knowledge that there is no shame in my dependence upon Him for my place.
Over the following months I was able to process several times with a friend who helped me uproot that core lie. I began to see myself with greater kindness and to grasp the power of a heavenly position over a temporary earthly assignment. Shame still threatens me and occasionally I feel its familiar tug to perform in order to protect myself. Now I can recognize the cycle that is tempting me. But I also have the truth about my identity and my position. As a result, I am learning to be secure. I can just pull up a seat in my Father's presence.
God showed me six more seats that day in Guatemala. I'll be sharing next week about those additional positions and praying that my vulnerability and testimony will provide a safe environment and enough truth for others to also be set free.
You can join me on Wednesday night at 7:00 pm CST at the Southlake Campus if you need to ask God about your own place. You can watch last week's class by visiting Equip Resources. Here's a direct link to make it easy.
How about you? Do you struggle with insecurity?
You are not alone.
I can testify that you can be set free and that in being set free, there is a good life after "to do" is put to bed. I am still administratively strong, but I am learning to walk without the tormenting fear and shame that has ridden on my shoulder my whole life. If I "can't," then it is still okay. I am okay. And so are you.
Father, I ask you to do for others what you have done for me. As you touch the tap root of their life and confirm that who they are is so much more important than what they do, deliver them from shame and fear. I pray they pull up a chair in your presence. In Jesus' name, Amen.
When Your Back is Up Against the Wall
If your back is up against the wall, close your mouth and stop agreeing with the enemy.
Moses answered the people, do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today - you will never see again. God will fight the battle for you. And you? You keep your mouths shut. Exodus 14:13-14a (MES)
I recently the honor of serving on a prophetic ministry team. For several days, I sought God for a word of encouragement for specific individuals. My process of preparing looks something like this:
get still (Gather every single thing I might possibly want or need for the next hour - coffee, blanket, bible, journal, pen, glasses, computer...you get the idea.)
pray (Talk to God about how desperate I am to hear what He has to say.)
listen (Try to stop talking and wait to see if something comes to mind.)
pray again (Talk, talk, talk - tell God what will happen if He doesn't speak.)
listen, listen, listen (Make a decision to cut it out, be quiet, put the pressure on God to speak and on me to be still.)
journal (Write down any and everything I hear, see or sense.)
repeat
It isn't a very smooth process for me. It's a bit fraught with my own anxiety and need to "do well". Once I begin to calm myself, put the expectation on God rather than on me, it's like a slip stream. I step into a flow I can't explain and I become aware of impressions, words, scriptures, and images that "speak to me" of God's heart.
On Tuesday morning as I finalized my preparations , I felt God had a personal word for me. I turned the page in my journal and started writing. Here's what God said:
"The restoration has begun. The rebuilding is underway.
The pain lessons.
The meds decrease.
The rest is sweeter.
The hair reappears.
The nails transform.
I am faithful, Jan. I don't just heal or rescue. I restore."
Restore:
to bring back, reinstate, reestablish, repair, renovate, fix, rehabilitate, reconstruct, redevelop, overhaul, resurrection, regeneration, the end of one thing, the beginning of another, born again, new beginning
I also remembered the verse from Exodus quoted at the opening of this blog. The Israelites were standing with their back at the Red Sea and their faces toward an overwhelming enemy. There was no escape for them. They could find no battle plan of their own. They began to panic, complain and believe that they should have stayed in bondage. They said it was better to be bound than to be dead.
I love how Moses responded.
He didn't try to break them up into units for battle. He didn't lie to them. He didn't try to figure it out on his own. He didn't succumb to their own conclusion. Rather, he boldly declared that God alone would be enough to deliver them.
"God will fight for you."
Especially if they would shut their mouths.
It's true for you, too. If your back is up against the wall, close your mouth and stop agreeing with the enemy. No matter how hopeless your situation appears; no matter how large the army that is advancing against you; no matter how much you second guess the steps that led you to this place...
God will fight for you.
God has indeed fought for me. While I stand still (resolute) and wait (quite), He is delivering me, fighting for me.
When the red sea parts, we escape and our enemies are crushed.
Then it is the time to speak.